….why paisley???

this is loosely based on poefusions challenge to write in a form called via negativa.… the subject matter is comprised of my thoughts as i read a post entitled,, without desire,, by tom,, over at fallen verses….

i have been given to think,,
that love -
really doesn’t exist..
there is passion..
there is acceptance..
there is indifference…
and i think
what we have come to call love,,
is merely the mortar
that fills in the cracks,
strengthens the joints,
and smooths over
the rough spots
on the journey
between the three…

photo:

http://fc03.deviantart.com/fs8/i/2005/363/7/5/Heat_Shine_by_DonCox.jpg

a few days ago the prompt on poefusion was to write a mantra… while i failed miserably at that,, i did mange to write a few words of wisdom i thought were worth sharing…..

*in truth, there is not one god,, but two… and each of them has a dollar riding on your destiny…

*would your desire to compete in the game of life be at all affected,, if i told you,, there can be no winner?

*youth would stop being wasted on the young,, if we quit living so damn long…

*unconditional love is an oxymoron…

*death,, is no where near as scary,, as getting old…

*beauty is in the eye of the beholder,, however the truth in this will not be made known to you,, until you, one day,, find yourself,, unheld…

*if a relatively small, uneducated, military faction that calls themselves Al-Qaeda,, could vaporize 2752 innocent human beings in the blink of an eye,, why cant we,, an immense, educated,, over privileged,, super power figure out how to dispose of our trash?

photo:

http://invisibly-touched.deviantart.com/art/Wisdom-50461999

courtesy of friday 5 at poefusion….

“aint no such thing
as the calm of the evenin’
an that quiet you hear
is a trick..”
as the words disappear
and the sirens set to screamin’
they splinter the silence
right quick..

on the corner, the new crop
the young ‘gits is slangin’
they dope or they bitches
or both..
as they mamas light votive’s
and pray the gods have forgiven
their freshly dead son’s
bloody oath..

as neighborhoods molder
under trash and addiction
punctuated by a bullets
loud pop..
we busy ourselves
with designer distractions
going green,, and how local
we shop….

photo:

http://mchasesteely.deviantart.com/art/Resident-of-the-3rd-Ward-2-61961954

this is a combination of the photo provided by monday mural on poefusion,, and the prompt “vinegar and oil” by read write poem… the prompt suggested we mix two things together that really don’t belong,, but in some way can share a common thread…

i used a snipped of a draft poem i wrote when i was in the deepest depths of depression,, and blended it with my clearest childhood memory,, as recorded in an earlier post called inner child…. a piece of prose that involves recalling childhood innocence…..

**********

where has the child gone..
the one who used to be,,
inside my mind,,
inside my heart,,
content not to be free??

jodi ~circa 1976

watercolor by leontine may

i spend way too much time
in the front yard
of my childhood home
thinking about dying..
never thought i would feel
so used up
in my white briefs,,
and no shirt..
so empty so old
so bitter so cold
most days i think, that
i’ve just had enough..
running around in circles
in the early morning grass
still wet with dew…

feeling shameful and yet
somehow- invigorated
i can’t remember my dreams
if i ever had them
life offers nothing
being outside with no shirt
in my underpants,,,
i haven’t already had
in full view,,
but seen by no one..
had it good had it bad
been happy been sad
no regrets
i just feel done..
running around in circles
in the early morning grass
still wet with dew…

thank you michelle,, for offering a poefusion,, that more or less wrote itself for me tonight….

i have never seen “his” face…
it is not that “he” has consciously
hidden “himself” from me,,
or that i have somehow
failed to look for “him”..
we have, very simply
just never crossed paths…

photo:

http://samdiaz.deviantart.com/art/Two-Paths-15680749

just for fun… using the words from this weeks Friday 5 on poefusion…..

“well yer honor…

it all started out real innocent like.. we was a celebratin’ jannette heres pro-motion,, you see its not ever day that a friend of mine shall we say climbs up the ladder to success.. so after work, we left outta the wal mart and headed us up to jessies over on handcock..”

“it was there we had us a margarita or two and they tasted sa good, and they went down sa smooth,, a’for we knowed it we was a drinkin’ straight shots a tequilya. you know how you do it, with tequilya,, first the salt,, then the lime,, then the shot,, uh huh,, and after a few a those i knowed i best be a gettin’ off home, as i was soon to be too drunk to drive…”

“so then we went ta my house,, as her husband woulda had him a big ol’ fit had he knowed she was out a drinkin’ with me,, and it was on the way there that she tells me she has her a li’l stash a that ol’ skunk weed.. and a seein’ as how neither of us had anything to smoke it in,, we made one of them li’l ol’ home made pipes,, you know the ones,, when you wrap the tin foal around the end of a pincil??”

“so anyways,, yer honor,, it was shortly after we smoked that,, that i guess i musta blacked out some… but if them poloroids is a tellin’ the truth,, i’d have to say it was just about that time that we done a li’l ol’ strip tease out there on the picnic table just outside my trailer… and it was a while we was a doin’ that,, that your boy,, i mean officer woodacre here,, come a cruisin up.. i cannot say for sure,, as i told you b’fore my memory is a tetch brittle in parts..”

“but i assure you,, yer honor,, at no time,, did i offer him no sexual favors for no money… as i am not that kinda guy…”

“excuse me??… yes sir,, that’s right sir,, that one there in the dolly parton wig,, that there would be me…”

photo:

http://www.heraldtimesonline.com/stories/2007/04/06/_ul_Firefighter+Z.jpg

this was loosely inspired by poefusion’s prompt for the day, write about your hand…..

my fingers,,
have become
the tongues
of my soul.
speaking with
an intimacy,, quite
foreign, and mysterious,
yet achingly familiar…

words flow,
like let blood
caught in the basin
of the page..
a regurgitated
rendering
of my life’s, most
inexpungible stains…

still, i find myself,,
transfixed,,
unable to look away..

photo:

http://babak.deviantart.com/art/Written-in-Blood-7959470

i have chosen to combine the visual prompt from monday mural, on poefusion,, and the words offered by two for tuesdays in this poetic essay.

photo: artwork, by: nibia 1515

it began as a simple question,
“will you be a part of the problem
or a part of the solution?”
and while we were diligently
swearing our allegiance
to becoming a part of the solution
our freedom was
very stealthily usurped..
while we were dutifully recycling
minimizing, erasing, conserving,
modifying our destructive behaviors
in an effort to save the planet
while we were busy
reading the labels
on packaged foods
carefully screening
that which we put into our bodies
in effort to preserve
our youthful good health
while we were conveniently distracted
with tasks so overwhelming
that we were sure to remain
willingly occupied for quite some time…
we failed to notice
that those who we have entrusted
to do the research
to provide us with the truth
to be working hand in hand with us
to rectify the very real wrongs
that they in fact brought
to our attention
in the first place
have,, driven by their insatiable appetite
for power and money and control
chosen to feather their own nests
with our ignorance
use our unwillingness
or inability
to make decisions
based on common sense
as a double edged sword
with which they have dissected
from our lives
the very freedoms
on which this country
was founded,, in an effort to obtain….

once more i ask you,,

will you be part of the problem,, or stand up for what you know to be right and become a part of the solution???

if there is any doubt in your mind that we have allowed ourselves to be momentarily distracted,, and as a nation have fed into the annihilation of common sense,, i invite you to look again, at this email that has been circulating for sometime,, and i was fortunate enough to come across yet again on trailer park barbies site, tales from the trailer park….

and decide for yourself….

School 1967 vs. School 2007
Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1967 - Vice principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his own shotgun to show Jack.

2007 - School goes into lock down, the FBI is called, Jack is hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors are called in to assist traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1967 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 - Police are called, SWAT team arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. They are charged with assault and both are expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1967 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given a good paddling. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra state funding because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1967 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1967 - Mark shares Aspirin with the school principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug violations. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high-school English.
1967 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. US Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover Independence Day firecrackers, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1967 - Ants die.
2007 - Homeland Security and the FBI are called and Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during recess and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1967 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in federal prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy.

courtesy of friday five on poefusion..

before avocado shag
was a joke
and gasoline
was something spoken about
in the same sentences as words like
shortage and war and green
before the glass ceiling
that separated
the earning potential
of bra burning women
from their soon to be
metro sexual brow waxing
male counterparts
was even an issue

back before men
wore their hair long
and still wore
the pants in the family
and women
didn’t really wear pants
at all…
back when mothers
stayed home and
raised their own children
and the american dream
was something
that was worked for,
was attained,
not an entitlement
at birth…

back when
you threw a brick
with a note attached to it
through a window…
if you really wanted
to get someones attention
instead of shot up a campus
or blew up a car
or crashed low flying planes
into skyscrapers filled with
innocent people..
back when wars
were always fought
on distant shores
at least a hemisphere away

back when life was in technicolor
and make believe was black and white
and i was just a little girl
who had yet to even dream
of falling in love…..

photo:

http://anythingbutdown.deviantart.com/art/Sweet-and-Innocent-33353556

todays inspiration from poefusion was to use the words of wisdom (?) found in a fortune cookie and create a poem surrounding it… it just so happened that i had an actual fortune from a long ago eaten cookie in my basket of tricks, here on my windowsill… so i chose to use it,, in combination with the words offered on todays three word wednesday, from which i fashioned a contrived fortune….. i did however opt for a piece of flash fiction instead of a poem….

fortune contrived from the words at 3ww: bouncing into a mysterious parallel universe is not a viable excuse for tardiness.
fortune from the actual cookie: you have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.

bouncing into a mysterious parallel universe is not a viable excuse for tardiness. and yet as melanie made a mad dash toward the closing elevator door,, no more feasible excuse was making itself available to her…

she certainly could not offer the real reason behind her turning up half an hour late,, as few would believe her if she told them that she,, miss texas 2005,, had spent last night wining, dining and seducing, damien, the overweight,, hygienically challenged,, male chauvinist asshole from the marketing department….

and fewer still would believe that she had spent the last hour and a half struggling to drag damien’s drug addled body into the bathtub where he was currently doing the electric slide with the blow drier…

oh well.. it didn’t much matter what they believed,, as now that the only other “silent applicant” for the opening as the new VP of marketing was out of the way,, she would finally realize her true destiny…

as the elevator whirred up the 27 floors toward the marketing department,, melanie reread the tiny strip of paper she had extracted from a “fortune” cookie at lunch yesterday,, just moments before discovering damien’s ill fated application… “you have an ambitious nature and will make a name for yourself.”

photo:

http://erinmo.deviantart.com/art/fortune-27495972