my little kymarina, at 13 weeks….
my big red dog, kymarina,, has always had issues.. i blame them on the fact that she was born in a shelter,, and lived the first 12 weeks of her life in a cage.. a cage in which she was expected to eat, sleep, and shit.. a cage with a door that was evidently slammed on her little puppy tail,, causing it to be scarred and crooked her whole life..
i wonder sometimes,, why even the relatively good life she has had with me for the last 11 years has not been enough to rid her of the emotional scars of those twelve short weeks.. why the fact that she is fed and warm and loved cannot make up for those incidences so long ago that caused her to become scared of everything.. why to this day, she will shy away from even my outstretched hand..
today, she is scared to death of the vinyl flooring.. (and yes,, i do have old 70’s gold patterned vinyl flooring throughout the entirety of my house,,, but hey,, its mine,, its paid for,, and its gonna stay there till it gives me reason to replace it……) she seems to think she is going to slip on it,, she gets herself so worked up,, that when she finally has the courage to step onto it,, she is in such a panic,, that she does slip,, she does fall,, and it only serves to re-enforce her fear….
this morning, as i moved the throw rugs around,, making a walkway for her to brave the 10 feet between the kitchen area and the bed,, i couldnt help but think about how much she and i have in common..
November 18th, 2008 at 9:34 am
things from the past never leave..if you deal with that..knowing that it will always be there..it makes it easier to get into a good place..at least it worked for me ..just accepting that it would be there..made it easier to control
November 18th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I’ve been addicted to the Canadian produced show ” At the end of my leash”. It deals with all these type of dog issues… I was a dog owner for close to 35 years, loving them from birth to death. They all had some kind of issues, I’m now seeing how I could have rectified them….too little too late. Next time I own a dog, I’ll do better. Kymarina is adorable…She looks timid and loving.
Hugs Giggles
November 18th, 2008 at 11:55 am
paisley,
Beautiful girl there and I suspect love goes both ways in abundance. I agree that mean treatment as a youngster in those malleable years makes us all gun shy. I am intolerable of attacks on my character and soma and am too quick to bite. I’m from a time that beatings were the means of teaching acceptable behavior. Nearly impossible to overcome. Notice–”nearly”
rel
November 18th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
I was just thinking the other day about how people always say that it doesn’t matter what happened to you in your formative years. You’re an adult now, and have to take responsibility for your reactions, or the way you view certain things.
I don’t think that’s entirely possible. I think some things are just so deeply ingrained in us from such a vulnerable time, they are simply part and parcel of who we are. I love that you and your beautiful pup found each other. I’m sure the understanding and empathy - and devotion - goes both ways.
November 18th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
She’s beautiful. And I love this post……..I’m on the verge of getting our first dog, they’re such wonderful animals.
November 18th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
awww….poor puppy all scared of the floor.
November 18th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I agree with Epiphany. EVeRYthing that happens to us makes up who we are. The trauma of those early years have permanently made Sweet Kymarina who she is. It’s so loving of you to move the throw rugs around.. Have u considered doggie booties?
I used to have rain booties for my Bichon. He didn’t like stepping on the wet ground when it rained. So I would buckle his boots on and off he went! (raincoat too!) haha
Your love for your pet and how you see her alike you melts my heart.
November 18th, 2008 at 6:56 pm
P - Try trimming her nails and that might do the trick. It’s like walking in stilettos on a slippery floor. My cat Sasha hardly lets me get close to her let alone clip her nails. This happen only … hardly ever! She is forever slipping and sliding on the flooring. T
“Do the Bump, do the bump.”
November 19th, 2008 at 2:32 am
She is absolutely gorgeous. I have had a couple of dogs who endured trauma early on in their lives and never got over it no matter how hard I tried. My dear Charlie was terrified of the dark because he’d been locked in a cupboard as a way of disciplining him. It makes me so mad to think about it even now. I agree with Epiphany - you two were meant for each other. It makes me happy to think of both of you together!
November 19th, 2008 at 9:13 am
What a sweet girl — that face is too precious.
I had a similar situation with my oldest cat, whom I rescued from a breeder where she had been neglected and abused. I didn’t get her until she was six months old, so she was really a mess. For ten solid years, she acted as though she thought I was going to kill her on a regular basis … she was terrified of people, etc. Eventually I took her to a naturopathic vet, who gave her a homeopathic remedy that reduced her obvious stress and anxiety by 80%. It was amazing.
November 19th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Poor baby! I’m glad she has you to make her world a little less frightening.
November 19th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
“i blame them on the fact that she was born in a shelter,, and lived the first 12 weeks of her life in a cage.. a cage in which she was expected to eat, sleep, and shit.. a cage with a door that was evidently slammed on her little puppy tail,, causing it to be scarred and crooked her whole life..” This could very well be true Pais. . . . to a degree. I would venture to say that more of her personality has developed from the vibes of her mistress than from those early experiences. She has taken on this part of your personality, perhaps. She started off scared, and thus this part was nurtured by what she senses in the one she loves the most. …Just a thought… Could just be that shit happens too.
November 19th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Paisley, I read your story and all the comments. As I sit here staring into a white box watching words take shape, I can’t help wondering what life must be like for such formerly mistreated creatures. I know how we feel when rescuing mistreaded pets: cats, dogs or anything capable of experiencing fear and pain. We feel good about ourselves and love and sympathy for the victim, but what about what they endure? What must it be like for a living creature to live out their lives in constant fear of the unknown, in constant fear of pain they remember? We love them and do all we can for them, but it that what they really need? I don’t pretend to know the answer.
November 19th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Poor baby. At least she has someone that understands her and what she needs.