the following is the third installment of a series that speaks about internal change.. you may navigate the series by beginning with the post entitled the beast and work your way back to this post,, or use the links in the footnote of this installment…
Reckless Impatience by ~evilhomer145 on deviantART
seldom when we think of bravery,, does the caterpillar come to mind.. more often than not when we think of the caterpillar,, we think of an elegant metamorphosis.. it has become an almost magical creature.. one that undergoes a complete physical transformation… it is miraculously transported from its humble beginnings as an often homely, furry, worm like, creepy crawly creature to the magnificent beauty of a butterfly,, soaring ever free in summers blue sky..
and yet,, i cannot help but wonder- what if we were to ask the butterfly,, soon after her (and i am using the female vernacular for no other reason than ease) transformation,, what was it like? was it as amazingly effortless as it seems?? every bit as magical?? would you do it all again??
as much as we would like to think that she would be bubbling over, extolling the virtues,, anxiously imparting the indescribable magic of such an amazing experience,, i am very much afraid we would instead find out,, quite adamantly,, that instead,, it was a grueling experience filled with indescribable pain and terror.. one that has left her not only outwardly changed, a virtual stranger to herself,, but forever lost in a strange land.. alone.. abandoned.. cursed to spend the rest of her life nursing the emotionally scars inflicted upon her by the seemingly magical process of exquisite metamorphosis that she was forced,, thru no fault of her own,, to endure..
can you imagine?? can you even begin to imagine what it would be like to be happily wandering the woods nibbling on grass one day,, only to,, for no explicable reason,, have your own body turn against you?? to cage what you have always known to be your self in a hard outer covering? to have a hard shell like crust begin to rip thru your flesh, while your own body begins secreting acid like chemicals that begin almost immediately,, to digest you- from the inside, out?? can you imagine looking on in horror,, not to mention excruciating,, searing pain,, as the only you that you have ever known turns into a virtual vomitus of dead and digested tissue- all the while having no idea, not only why, this is happening to you,, but,, if you are going to live or to die???
neither can i.. and it is that realization, that allows me to know that my concept of what true change actually encompasses,, is lacking.. it makes me painfully aware of the fact that there is no such thing as a magical, enchanted, painless metamorphosis.. it reiterates to me, that no matter how much i desire it,, or how necessary it has seemingly become,, it should never be entered into with reckless impatience,, unrealistic expectations,, or grandiose visions of instant gratification…
but mostly,, it finally makes clear something i, for one, have spent my entire life time wondering about… is that hookah smoking caterpillar in alice in wonderland gettin’ high????
part 1: the beast
part 2: common ground
part 3: metamorphosis
part 4: voices
November 8th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Of course he is. He wouldn’t be anywhere near as creepy if he weren’t!
I agree that real, conscious, lasting change takes time and consideration. Much of the time the changes that are seemingly thrust upon us are the result of something not pleasant. Its too bad, really, that we humans tend to learn more readily from pain than from pleasure. Don’t want to feel like that again… Unless we’re punishing ourselves.
I think you’re on the right track here, Paisley. You making a concious choice to at least explore what it would mean for you to experience/embrace change. I think you’ll find it challenging in a good way - and rewarding - once you get into the process.
November 8th, 2008 at 10:41 am
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November 8th, 2008 at 10:44 am
It’s spooky you write about a catepillar today - I received a review copy of a children’s book yesterday and it’s about a catepillar! The book is Lady Flatterley.
November 8th, 2008 at 11:49 am
I’ve always suspected that babies would cry after being born, even without that slap on their butt, at the unpleasant adjustment from their warm, dark world to the cold, bright light of the new one. As you’ve so beautifully expressed it here, change is seldom easy.
And the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland? Definitely getting high!
November 8th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I had a friend, a respected wife of a dean at the university, who remembered being born. She had spent hours in her childhood looking in dark closets and asking her mother,”Where is that warm shelf they pushed me off of?”. It was not until she herself was giving birth to her first child that she identified the memory as being of her own birth. Change is painful. I feel sure that the American people are going to be going through such a painful process in the years to come. And I hope they will like the results, although, given my age, I probably won’t be around to check it out.
As to Alice’s caterpillar: of course.
November 8th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
can u even believe I’ve never seen that movie?? hookah smoking caterpillar? HoW did I miss this??
Anyway.. even though I think your writing is always amazing to read..
I can’t help wonder this.. WHAT if that butterfly could talk and SHE tells you she really WAS “bubbling over, extolling the virtues,, anxiously imparting the indescribable magic “of it all!! hmmm?? WhY can’t THAT be what really happens?? haha :/ ( and she is flying around for the rest of her life, hoping so much to go through ANYTHING that feeels just as wonderful??)
November 8th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
I believe some of those cartoon characters have more going on in their life than children see. Of course that weird caterpillar was getting high. Love the artwork!
November 8th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I think the caterpillar is re programing itself. Haha.
November 8th, 2008 at 3:22 pm
I love the picture, and your article. I often wondered about the caterpillar in Alice.
November 8th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I think we all go through a similar process, but at a much slower pace. I hope when it’s complete, I become that beautiful butterfly.
As for Alice In Wonderland - the title seems to suggest he was already high!
November 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
A great metaphor, here. As someone who has gone through many changes in my life - most for the good, but some for the bad - the process is rarely an event that is without pain, fear and worry.
November 8th, 2008 at 5:38 pm
True. True. We don’t much think about how the caterpillar feels during his semi-death.
November 8th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
What a cool concept. A necessary workout of a wind-up to the killer fifth paragraph—it’s Ouch! It’s Amen, Sister! It’s well written and well worthy to bring before a changing world.
November 8th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
That’s change literally! I like the way you’ve expressed the changes that took place prior to the metamorphosis. The resemblance of how we human has to strive during such changes from a child to youth to middle age to old age before death. I’ve learned that the pain, the fear and worry is necessary for the phase to complete.
November 8th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
What a terrific metaphor - Change is never easy for most of us; especially unpleasant change. Change hurts more when we fight it - try to not go through the inevitable. It’s so strange that we fight change so hard when the only thing in this world that’s certain is change . . .
This is really good! - wow you have a great imagination!
November 8th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Good and original post. But I think the caterpillar is like me who just plods along and takes what ever comes and does what she can with it. Awaiting my life’s journey, fate, and stoic about it.The Alice in wonderland caterpillar though is a bit funny, maybe the author was having a smoke too.
November 8th, 2008 at 11:58 pm
I think that caterpillar was soaring. As many others have said, this is an excellent metaphor. Change is never easy. I think it is one of the most painful experiences in the world. It is challenging, frightening, confronting, arduous, but in the end, rewarding. When my son was little there was a song on Sesame Street he loved. I’m not sure who sang it but it went:’It’s a long hard road, but I’m gonna get there……I’m heading for the morning sun.’ He still sings it when faced with a challenge. The act of metamorphosis is tough but ultimately, well worth it. You can do it!
November 8th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Original and wonderfully written. Yet so true. But I wonder whether the butterfly eventually thinks it all worthwhile when it’s over. As for me, it’s not always the case. In fact, right now I’m still mourning for a change which didn’t come about. The pain and all the rest was there but in the end… Hope the caterpillar/butterfly has more luck.
November 9th, 2008 at 12:52 am
oh metamorphosis. how i loved that word. oftentimes, the bravery of caterpillars are taken for granted after they turn to butterflies. we all have our humble beginnings and that should never be forgotten. great post paisley
November 9th, 2008 at 6:55 am
Wow, never thought of it this way! Your description of the metamorphosis is so…well…I could almost feel the pain!
Great ending, too!
November 9th, 2008 at 7:15 am
I suspect many of the characters in Alice in Wonderland were getting high, or worse ;-).
As for the essay, it was wonderfully written, though I suspect I’ll never be able to look at a butterfly again without a strong tinge of sadness.
November 9th, 2008 at 8:04 am
paisley,
Like most of us, the caterpillar is comfortable in the here and now with what he knows and contemplating change is a fearsome thing. Crawling into the “unkown, so-to-speak. He takes his toke on the hooka to keep from thinking about the change, particularly after Alice tells him a big change is in store for him. He even thinks the restrictions of being 3″ high are preferable to anything different.
The Ugly duckling however welcomed the change to swan-ship I imagine.
BTW. I have it on good authority that the caterpillar, having seen his compatriots being devoured by god’s winged creatures actually engineered his “metamorphosis” to resemble a poisonous substance and thereby enjoy a longer more fruitful existance.
Change is inevitable…engineer it to your advantage.
rel
November 9th, 2008 at 11:59 am
“have your own body turn against you”….
yeah, um… my body has been turning against me since I was 27. I have been on a steady decline ever since. Food that I once loved is now my enemy. It is incredibly difficult to watch the world around me, or my family (right in front of my face) partake in the simple pleasure of eating a bowl of mashed potatoes. Meanwhile if I was to eat a spoonful, I could literally die from anaphylaxis shock.
If I knew BEFORE I got sick that was going to be my last slice of pizza, I would have eaten a whole pie to myself. But, I didnt.
Anyway, if I could go back to the way i was BEFORE I was sick, I would in a HEARTBEAT.
I really miss the simplicity of a SANDWICH!
xxoo
November 9th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Hi!
Change is inevitable to everyone. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. It’s what we make of the change that makes us who we are. Thanks for stopping by my place. Take Care!!
Sherrie
November 9th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Of course the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland is getting high! Everything in that movie is about getting high!
Thanks for coming by to play and the comparison about “true change” and the butterfly is dead on…you can’t have real change without some serious pain…at least I never have.
November 9th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
That was . . . incredible. I have no good excuse for my recent absence, but this post makes me regret every day I have spent no reading your blog.
November 10th, 2008 at 4:14 am
Great post, change, metamorphosis, wonderful!
Don’t butterflies only live for one day? Even if they do, it’s probably like three score and ten years to us anyway. Enjoyed reading this.
Andy
November 10th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
it feels like i’ve been stuck in my own private chrysalis for an unseemly long time, and as i morph it is an extremely painful process, worse on some days than others, and sometimes i wonder if i ever will be a beautiful creature - but i’m afraid to abort the process and all the pain, cuz then i’ll have missed the chance of knowing — sure do wish i had brought my hookah in here with me, tho’ - might be easier to tolerate the growing pains!!! - i love this creative imaginative reflection you have put up - it’s great!!!!!
November 11th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
This is very good and well written. You make me feel sorry for the poor caterpillar and the whole transformation he has to go through to become a beautiful caterpillar.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:49 am
I’ve read them all now,including ‘Flashback’, all wonderfully introspective. If I were rash, I might say now I know so much about the real Jodi. That would be a lie because the real Jodi is not even who she thinks she is now..she’s still changing and as long as she keeps looking inside… the real Jodi will one day burst forth, her cup will runnith over. The problem with labels whether it be ones we put on ourselves or have them thrust upon us is we feel that we have to live up to them. It’s important to let them fall away and ask are heart. “Who Am I”? Real change comes from doing nothing at all.
November 13th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
You really get inside that caterpillar’s metamorphosis. It almost sounded like what it would feel like for a baby to go through the birth canal. Great descriptions, and a sound conclusion for how you’ll carry on considering what you’ve learned. I enjoy these essays you’ve been writing.
I think Lewis Carol took opium around the time he wrote Alice in Wonderland, and I do believe the little critter in the story is tokin’ away.