Hiding place by ~Jcandres on deviantART
currently, i am researching a full length fiction piece that i have never intended to post here,, (mainly because i feel reading full length pieces online is tedious, and i would not expect you to do so) and more than likely, given my track record of non-submission,, i will not “send out” either.. i am writing it strictly to see if i can do it.. if i can follow it thru,, if i can collect it,, contrive it,, compile it,, and complete it..
my project is based on a short story i shared with you months ago,, entitled, her boy.. it is the story of a woman of dubious past, tried and convicted by the media,, of a heinous crime she did not commit.. it is a project that has had me stepping outside of my comfort zone and writing about something with which i have no first hand experience.. it is a project that involves research and a mobilization of emotions that i have not personally experienced,, and since my niche in writing is quite confessional,, being, thinking, and acting, for someone outside of myself requires a lot of investigative research..
my foray into researching this project has had me dabbling in something in which i would not ordinarily dabble,, and that is the cold, hard, world of another’s reality.. i prefer the warm, fuzzy, comfort of my world.. my little corner… a place where everything is mine and runs in a fashion that i prescribe for it.. a tiny little sector of life inhabited by one woman, two dogs, and the occasional walk on part by a generous old man or a distant family member… but for the most part my world is mine.. alone..
in researching the subject matter for this piece,, i have been carried off into a world of the unimaginable.. i have read, and continue to read, account after account of those caught up in the criminal justice system thru no real fault of their own.. people just like you and i, that are living thru their own personal hell because no one wants to accept the fact that something as powerful and all consuming as the criminal justice system might be broken..
as i delve ever deeper into the case histories, “meet” the people involved,, review the trial transcripts,, i am given to wonder,, of what consequence is my writing a piece of fiction about a woman that doesn’t really exist, being incarcerated for an imagined crime?? could not my desire to research and write about such atrocities be put to better use?? where exactly does creating works of fiction and crafting cleverly worded poems fit into the grander scheme of things?? should i seek out the opportunity to write on a subject that “matters” ?? or continue writing,, just to see if i can???
very simply,, i am drawn toward making something real come from my efforts.. something that matters.. something that makes a difference.. for me it has always been about the words, their power, their authority, the feeling of control i have when they string themselves together in such a way as to replicate,, feeling,, emotion,, life… their ability to carry me along,, drag me,, toss and turn me,, using them in a such way as to compel you to feel what i am feeling…
yet,, i cannot help but wonder, if perhaps my desire to string together the words in such a way,,, could not be put to better use.. what if i could cause you to feel what i am feeling,, and together we could make a difference?? even if it was a very small difference,, say in the life of one person neither of us will ever really know???
immersing myself in another’s reality for the past few weeks has caused me to reexamine my motivations.. to question the hours that i am willing to spend orchestrating pretty words… to wonder if perhaps this place called …why paisley??? has not been just a hiding place,, all along…..
October 1st, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I really don’t think “Why Paisley” is a hiding place! More a germination place, where seeds can be nourished till they are ready to spring to life, breaking through the clods of earth. Without this Paisley Garden, there would be no Paisley Flower!
I am wondering though, perhaps your questions are coming to terms with the fiction v. non fiction scenario. With all your research, are you going to write a pure fiction, or turn new light on an old story?
October 1st, 2008 at 1:58 pm
This is exactly what I am talking about when I say you are thought provoking. Your joining of words to pulling us along in your little red wagon, is making me pull my feet up, lest they dangle over the sides. I do not want to miss a word of what you write, when you paint these word filled paintings. Please trust me when I say that the world is such a better place because you are in it. The magic we see when you reveal your truest talent is amazing. Little One … write, write, write!!! Do not ever leave me or those who care so deeply for you. Everything in your life has indeed formed you into the magnificent writer who was hiding inside. The ties you have created and the bonding of your readers is the ultimate friendship.
October 1st, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Great post. It’s interesting all the paths your curiosity has led you to follow. I hope you keep writing, no matter what. It’s enough to write for your own fulfillment as a human being, in my opinion. Everything else is gravy.
October 1st, 2008 at 3:56 pm
I agree with Gemma..but to step out of your cozy place..is a good thing it helps the growth process..it takes some hard work and you don’t have to step right out the door and close it..just have a look around and take in what you see and feel
October 1st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
I can add but one thought to those who have already commented: pay attention to details. You already know of my deep affection for you and of my admiration for your seemingly, unlimited talent in expressing yourself in words. You take mere words and make them do your bidding. Why not in a novel?
October 1st, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I could not agree more with your notion that perhaps you could cause an effect with your writing. You couldn’t NOT do that if the subject matter really meant something to you. The evidence of that is all over this site. Whether its about something intensely personal, or something that stirs in you a quest for what’s “right” in a not-right part of our human experience, passion is passion. And passion motivates, and instigates. Period.
Why Paisley is your place. Its your place of balance and reflection and expression. There’s no reason you can’t step into various other realities/adventures/avenues for your writing talent, while remaining rooted here. Plus, there would be a ridiculously large void in your readers lives were they not able to come and hang for awhile every few days with their enormously talented buddy, the divine Miss P.
October 1st, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I completely appreciate your point regarding the idea that your time may be better served writing perhaps a non-fiction piece about the issues you’ve recently been researching. However, I do believe that well-written fiction does have the power to bring issues which need to be addressed into emphasis. You certainly have the ability to do that. I have confidence that you could write anything.
I like Gemma’s comment that your blog is a place where ideas germinate. I agree. Why Paisley is a special place where many ideas come to fruition. I am sure that through your own efforts, you have helped many writers find their voice.
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:02 am
sometimes a place can be many things and change as we do
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:44 am
sounds like u will make a fine research if u are doing what u say on this effort. have a great weekend
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:55 am
I think this blog has been a growing place, not one of hiding. I know you can create the piece of writing you are talking about. You’re doing the research and you will finish the entire work. You can do it. I don’t think it’s for nothing. I know I learn a little every time I read, even fiction. A piece of you will be in this work and people who read it will learn from it. I know it.
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
It seems to me that each effort we make, regardless of the cause, marks a forward motion. I’ve written 3 novels through NanoWriMo in the past 3 years ~ all were loosely written about real-life events ~ one from a victim’s point of view and the other two from a perpetrator’s pov. They weren’t marketed but several sold and the comments received from readers indicated that they took these words to heart and are making small but significant changes in their own neighborhoods. Where would we be without reading and writing?
October 3rd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Sounds to me that you have found that part of self called “purpose.” I think I’ve said this before; and I don’t want to sound like a preacher or any thing. It’s just that anything that consumes us and also brings light to injustice or helps others in some way is usually our purpose. I feel my purpose is inspiration in making people feel better during times of distress. As for you, you have such a way with words, that I feel yours is being able to inspire people to look at truths and not keep their heads in the sand. What better way to live your purpose than to enlighten people on the atrosities of the Justice System. It’s a brave endeavor; and I feel you should follow your heart on this one. If ever you decide it’s not for you, you will have lost nothing, but gained much. Many blessings of light and love to you dearest Paisley. . . . Keep the spirit! Be not afraid!
October 4th, 2008 at 8:02 am
It’s out happy anniversary today and go look at my site. There is someone there you might like to see. She is so beautiful! Nice Saturday Little One. Love, TZT
October 4th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
If your writing no matter what it is..it is thought provoking..go where your soul takes you
October 5th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
well. good luck with “writing it strictly to see if i can do it.. if i can follow it thru,, if i can collect it,, contrive it,, compile it,, and complete it..”
and No. I do not think whypaisley has been a hiding place. At. All. I think you have made some major changes/revelations as a result of this blog.
October 7th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Wow. This is a massive undertaking and I admire you for doing this. Best of luck!
October 7th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
If you are hiding….can you come out an play soon?
October 7th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
hiding place or no, I’m just glad to find you again! My bookmarks are out of date :p Re-found ya when I was going thru my old posts and comments.
Cheers!
~willow~
October 8th, 2008 at 8:35 pm
I think many of us already feel what you are feeling, whether it be poetry, short stories, or just ramblings . . . . Your words are powerful, regardless of whether they are based in reality, or the make believe. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned in life have come from works of fiction. Do what makes you happy, but know that to us, your readers, we will take away from it whatever it is that you are putting before us. Best of luck in whatever path you choose.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:28 am
Whatever you decide with this writing project Paisley, I know it will be thought-provoking and memorable. You may just be at the time in your life that your work takes on a new meaning and does progress to the point of making a real difference on a much larger scale.
This is a topic that needs to be front and center. It is very real for the innocent caught up in the unthinkable but very possible place of those wrongly accused.
October 11th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Continue and finish it writing warrior! I’ve been writing two books for over five years and am still not done. One, I’ve had to rewrite and edit from scratch…over 1400 pages of excruciating fun. I look forward to reading it Jodi
October 15th, 2008 at 8:38 pm
If hiding is evoking emotion, if hiding is evoking thought, if hiding is taking us deeper into our selves than we intended, if hiding allows us to have our thoughts acknowledged as valued — then you have reversed the meaning of hiding.
If you are thinking of writing with a different purpose, your need to is already there. The world needs you to get the point across, paisley. It is a heck of a responsibility, but you were given the gift.