….why paisley???

i am suffering from media overload.. way too much reality is all but eradicating my ability to rise above… words for the sake of words.. stories.. poems.. whimsical little bits designed solely to entertain,, pieces that contain no socially implicit message….  escape me…

and the saddest part is,, it doesn’t seem to be just me…  how long can we survive on regurgitated bits of masticated media??

Regurgitation by mashina on deviantart

force fed
masticated media
like carion birds,
they swoop
between corpses
picking off
the bloodiest bits..
as we sit-
ever hungry mouths
agape,
nestled deep,
in dutifully shredded
credit card reciepts
and recycled
campaign slogans..
antiscipating,,
regurgitation…

for those of you that do not live in northern california,, proposition 8 is an initiative measure on the 2008 california general election ballot that seeks to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. If passed, the proposition would change the california constitution by adding a section that states, “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.” thus eliminating the “loophole” also known as “the equal protection clause”, as set out in the fourteenth amendment to the constitution of the united states of america,, thru which the state has seen fit to allow the right of same-sex couples to marry in the state of california since may of this year…

but this is not a post about whether or not same sex marraiges should be taking place in the state of california..  of course they should.. anyone willing to hop into bed with uncle sam should be given the opportunity to do so.. and i for one do not want to go on record as having stood in the way of hundreds of thousands of divorce lawyers all over the country as they stand salivating in the halls of justice awaiting the coming deluge of same sex clientele …..

anywhoo…… the first thing i saw this morning was this headline in the san francisco chronicle:  Flood of money against Prop 8…. this article goes on to state that a virtual “tsunami of new money has poured into the campaign to defeat Proposition 8, as Hollywood celebrities, deep-pocketed donors and thousands of people from across the country wrote checks to block the proposed ban on same-sex marriage in California.”

and my questions here in lie… what the hell should money have to do with it?? and if the final decision as to whether or not this proposition is to be passed will be decided by which side of the coin has raised the majority of the money in support of their stand on the issue,, why are they even asking ‘we the people’ to vote on it???

what difference does a hole punched in a ballot make if the money has already secured its passing or failure?? and in the event that this decision,, as do most decisions made in society as we have come to know it,, does in fact boil down to who has the most money,, why are we, the american people, still buying into the whole “your vote makes a difference” bullshit????

i know i cannot be alone in seeing thru the smoke and mirrors,, as in my humble opinion,, it seems as if they have done away with the smoke and mirrors all together at this late stage in the game,, and have decided that if we cannot recognize the simple fact that “money talks and bullshit walks” at this point- we are evidently too ignorant to try and explain it to…

*******

in the mood for something a little lighter??? i have reposed a fun piece of rhyming prose over on just paisley…. called “uncle” that ties in nicely with today’s post…..

for those of you that are following the troy anthony davis case,, corina was kind enough to leave a link in the comments to an article published just hours ago on cnn.com entitled,, Execution put on hold for man convicted in cop’s murder….

The 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals granted a 25 day stay of execution Friday for Troy Anthony Davis,  who had been scheduled to die on Monday… The stay of execution was granted so Davis’ legal team can file a new habeas corpus brief with a lower court…..

maybe miracles do happen…..

for further information on the case please read:

Troubling Questions Surround Troy Davis Execution Set for Monday

Court issues stay of execution for Troy Davis

potpourri by ~dispassionate on deviantART

just wanted to post a couple of updates and additional thoughts i have had about the conversations we have been having here over the course of the last week or so…

first,, my dad continues to make progress.. he has, as of this moment, spent his first twenty four hours back home, in his own bed.. he will be receiving visits from a nursing service once a day for the next couple of weeks to monitor his progress..  recovery is long and slow with this particular surgery, (aortic valve replacement) but i am pleased to be able to report, that all his systems are functioning properly,, and that finally his body is able to focus on the healing process.. thank you all for your genuine love and concern… i will keep you updated on the more personal aspect of this healing process if and when updates become available….

secondly, a third death warrant has been issued in the case of troy anthony davis. his execution has been rescheduled for this coming monday, october 27, 2008 at 7pm eastern.. although the warrant makes provision for the actual execution to happen any time during the week of october 27 and november 3 .  you may read the article in the atlanta journal-constitution here,, or visit the amnesty international page here to speak out against this catastrophic mishandling of justice…

although i realize it may be too late to save troy anthony davis from the steely jaws of our flawed judicial system,,  i was encouraged this week to view not one, but two nationally syndicated programs doing features on the subject of wrongful convictions..

oprah spoke with marty tankleff,, who at 17 was convicted of his own parents murder,, based solely on cruelly coerced police testimony.. he served over ten years in an adult correctional facility before being exonerated.. she also interviewed michael crowe, who at the tender age of 14 was badgered by police investigators (on video tape no less) until they intimidated him into confessing to the murder of his own sister…

both of them agreed that if they were to give one admonition to us as citizens, as to how to avoid such a situation ourselves, it would be to NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES speak to law enforcement without proper representation.. in laymans terms that is to say, no matter how innocent you know yourself to be,, shut up, till you lawyer up!!!

A&E’s, cold case files reran the very first episode which gave one the impression that in addition to solving cold cases,,  we could expect law enforcement/ judicial reform in light of the availability of dna testing that would serve to not only incarcerate the guilty,, but free the innocent..

unfortunately,, such has not become the case. law enforcement and judicial agencies are anything but willing to expend the time and the money necessary to prove that they have in fact wrongfully charged and assisted in erroneously convicting an innocent man or woman.. currently,, the burden of proof and the expense of testing rest solely on the shoulders of the victims and their families. it sickens me to think that exonerating an innocent man or woman falls so far outside the current definition of the term justice..

it is my sincere hope that “the change” we are all seeking includes the changes that need to be made in our current law enforcement and judicial systems in order to stop wrongful conviction before it starts,, and more often than not that is in the hands of your local law enforcement agency….

thinking it could never happen to you,, or someone you love,, could not be farther from the truth….

portions of this post were originally inspired by rick at myrtle beach ramblings and his post, “would another depression be so bad?”

Women in the Great Depression by ~eternalfire42 on deviantART

last weeks sunday scribblings asked that we choose a time in history that we would like to go back to if given that opportunity… so,, when i sat down to write this,, i was going to answer emphatically,, the roaring twenties….. after all,, flappers,, speakeasies,, bathtub gin,, real gangsters,, the height of the jazz age- who wouldn’t??? if any era in our history has impressed me as a time when a woman could break out from the societal norms in truly glamorous style,, i would have to say that point in time,, in my opinion,,, was the roaring twenties…

however,, as i prepared to write this piece,, i decided to do a little research on that time period,, and i was a bit taken a back by  wikipedia’s description of that period,, “as an era of great economic prosperity driven by the introduction of a wide array of new consumer goods….. and (its) society acculturated into consumerism.” whoa….. that sounds a little too familiar…

without the aid of time travel,, it immediately became evident, that i have in fact lived thru,, the modernization of exactly that…. and as i look around me,, and i see people losing their homes,, lines of credit being dissolved,, interest rates skyrocketing,, banks failing,, and stock markets crumbling,, even the failed war on drugs (tho in those days they called it prohibition)  i begin to realize,, that the economic crisis we are experiencing at present,, is not at all far removed from that which we saw following that period of glamorous excess that we call the roaring twenties….  the great depression….

it was then that i remembered, that when the stock market crashed in 1929, my great grandmother was about as far from being a glamorous, fun loving flapper as anyone could be.. she was a twenty-nine year old, widowed, mother of two young children. she was raising my grandmother and my aunt rita in a second floor, cold water flat,, and working five days a week at a fasteners plant to supplement her deceased husbands small pension from the fire department.  yet, even though our country was embroiled in one of the worst economic upheavals in its history during the years that she was raising her children, alone,,  the words, “the depression” never really entered into the stories she told us over and over again as we grew up and gleaned the history of our family from the vast storehouse of her memories..

i never really understood the importance of that omission until recently.. you see,, when the depression hit,, my great grandmother,  was already among the working poor.. those that made enough to keep afloat and have a drink or two on a friday night on the way home from the shop.. she had immigrated here from ireland as an eight year old child,, and had never known anything but poverty.. she had nothing to lose..

although i know she had dreams,, she was not raised to believe that she was entitled to attain greatness or riches simply because she had made the long grueling trip to america.. tho’ she had fantasies,, she knew the difference between delusions of grandeur and what she could expect to attain given her lack of higher education, current rate of pay, and  social status.. she worked hard, played hard,, and raised two happy, healthy, well adjusted daughters,, who followed in her footsteps and did the same…

it was not until the great depression had become a yellowed page in a history book,, and those that had actually lived through it as adults, were well on their way to old age, that the children of the sixties decided to ‘fix’ things and openly rebel against all of the societal norms.. it was not until the seventies that we began to really believe that we were born entitled to equality, individual freedom of expression, and sexual indulgence.. it was not until the eighties that we began to supplement those entitlements with vast quantities of props and became willing to attain them at all cost.. it was not until the nineties that we began to pervert those freedoms and entitlements to such a degree that we became willing to sacrifice our integrity and common sense in order to attain them… thus bringing us full circle as we headed into the new millennium….  i do not think that there is anyone among us that will deny the fact that we are once again living in “an era of great economic prosperity driven by the introduction of a wide array of new consumer goods….. and (our) society (has) acculturated into consumerism.”

i guess it is for that reason that i secretly hope we are headed for a great depression.. one of such epic proportion that it will put even the original great depression to shame.. one that will cause those of us that have come to define ourselves by the position we hold,, the cars we drive,, the clothes we wear,, the food we eat,, or the cell phone our children take to school with them,, to see that the blind pursuit of ‘bling’ has caused us to leave what is really important behind.. our humanity.. one that might cause us to stop and examine the ideals that this consumerist insanity is instilling in our children.. one that just might level out the playing field a bit,, and force us all to become part of the “change” everyone seems to be talking about….

i know,, history is bound to repeat itself.. i know that the generations to come will forget about the present economic hardships and the lessons instilled upon those of us that make it through this as quickly as we forgot about the lessons learned by our ancestors who lived thru the original great depression.. but i am thinking, that if we could get just three well grounded, intelligent, decades of human beings in between now and then,, it just might be worth anything i have to sacrifice to get it…..

vote by ~gasoline-rainbow on deviantART

they say, opinions are like assholes,, and living in an area densely populated with political activists, as i do,, i cannot help but grow increasingly alarmed at the number of people willing to “drop the soap” when i say, that i will, once again, be exercising my right not to vote in the upcoming presidential election..

while many are quick to say that my stance is unamerican,, or that i am undermining the very constitution on which this country was founded,, few, if any,  ever want to listen when i attempt to explain to them that my decision not to vote,, is just that.. a decision.. it is not because i do not care who runs the country to which i pledge my allegiance… it is not a byproduct of my lack of education.. it is not because i am too lazy to go to the polls.. it is not a result of my own ignorance when it comes to the  election process… nor is it due to the fact that i am exempt from feeling the same gut wrenching need for change that the majority of you are experiencing…

but rather, it is because i believe i that have done my research and have come to a rather intelligent, informed, conclusion based on the facts that are available to me..  it is because the conclusion that i have come to makes sense to me… and it is for that reason, that i would like to share with you today,, my personal rational for having made a decision not to vote in this, or any other, presidential election…

let me begin by saying, it is not, in any way, my intention to pass judgment on those of you that have made the very important decision to vote.. i do not seek to belittle the process that you have gone through in selecting the candidate you feel is most qualified to assume the position of commander and chief of this country. i do not believe that my way of thinking is in any way, superior.. nor has it ever been my position to feel the necessity to convert anyone to my way of thinking….

that being said,, i would like to begin by saying that i find it particularly interesting that, whereas “The Constitution contains many phrases, clauses, and amendments detailing ways people cannot be denied the right to vote….. the Constitution never explicitly ensures the right to vote..” in addition, “No where in the Constitution,  will you find any mention of how elections should be conducted.” and there is good reason for that.. you see eleven days prior to adopting the constitution, at a little get together called the Philadelphia Convention,, our forefathers approved the assignation of what has commonly come to be known as  “the electoral college”.. the electoral college is a group of designated officials (in the state of California this group is made up of 2 senators and 53 members of the house of representatives, none of which, whose names i know) who’s task at hand is to put aside all personal agenda,, and cast a vote based solely on the number of votes placed by the citizenry in a presidential election..

so then, the founders of this country had already put a plan into action that would allow them the power to override the vote of the people, should it not coincide with their collective vision.. that in itself does not sit well with me.. add to that the fact that this system has failed time and time again to accurately reflect the votes as placed by, we, the citizens of this country,, (thus resulting in many states having to pass individual laws threating criminal prosecution, automatic resignation, and/or fines to be imposed upon those who fail to adhere to the guidelines,,) and i must confess,, i am left with very little reason to believe that my one vote is of any real consequence.

my feeling is,, if ever i should decide to vote, i would need to be convinced of the impeccability of the character of, not only the candidate that i deemed best suited for the office of the president,, but i would need to have blind faith in all (in my case since i live in CA ) 55 members of the electoral college.. i would need to trust implicitly that each and every one of them is above reproach.. i would have to believe that they had put aside their own careers,, their own political agendas,, their personal allegiances,, and voted totally and completely as a reflection of the number of votes that have been cast in their state,, and for whom…  as much as i would like to believe that humans are basically good,, and will, if given the opportunity, do what they know to be right, simply because they know it to be right- in all honesty,, and if history is any indicator,, i cannot, in truth say, that i believe in the infallibility of even one man, let alone 538 popularly elected representatives…

secondly, and on a more personal note,, i (much like many of you) have had the opportunity to witness more than one election unfold. i have seen candidate after candidate renege on any and/or all campaign promises, on which they based their so called platform, once they were elected to office.. i have watched debate after debate degenerate into mud slinging competitions of embarrassing proportion.. i have looked on while candidates whom i am expected to endow with my trust, loyalty and support,, succumb to behaviors i would not find acceptable, in adolescents..  i have seen the evolution, through necessity, for fact finding organizations who’s sole purpose during the election campaigns is to gauge who is lying,, and about what,, and then supply us with the truth surrounding their numerous “misspeaks”….

i’m sorry,, i know i have said it numerous times before,, but i feel compelled to say it again.. i cannot reward bad behavior… i cannot cast a vote thereby giving my signature of approval to a system i believe to be irreparably flawed. i believe that doing so would signifying that i am in agreement with the way the system is functioning, and i cannot publicly pretend to believe in the cohesiveness of a system that privately, i believe to be very, very broken…..

Duck by ~blacksparklymagic on deviantART

most of us have heard of a little something affectionately called ‘the duck law’… it states,, that if it walks like a duck,, and it talks like a duck,, chances are very good,, that it is indeed a duck… believe me when i tell you, that such is the accepted perspective of law enforcement in our society.. i know first hand,, as i have been arrested for it… only in texas, they call it manifestation…. you don’t have to be caught in the act of actually doing anything illegal,, you just have to look like the kind of person that would in fact be doing something illegal, if given the chance,, or be in a place that is frequented by those that are known to be on the look out for something illegal to do… that’s all it takes…

the supreme court of the united states of america has evidently taken the ‘duck law’ one step further.. they have decided that,, a black man,, any black man,, that stands accused of killing a white police officer,, looks right for the part.. they don’t care whether or not he is guilty.. they are not concerned with the fact that there is more than reasonable doubt surrounding the circumstances under which this man was convicted.. they have chosen not to inconvenience themselves with such trivial matters,, as the lack of physical evidence, the inability to provide a motive, the retraction of seven out of nine (coerced) eyewitnesses testimonies,, or the fact that someone else (who just happened to be a star witness for the prosecution in the original trial),,  has allegedly confessed to the crime…. nope… to them,, a duck, is a duck, is a duck…..

as america stands poised to vote in an historic election,, the first in which a black man has, not only run for the presidency of the united states,, but is at the present time,,  if one is to believe the current polls as published,, is leading the nation in electoral votes-  another black man sits in the state of georgia,, on death row,, awaiting execution… as the media pats white america’s back,, congratulating us on our showy display of racial diversity,, and staunch voters claim to be far too evolved to allow the color of a mans skin to influence their decision making abilities,, troy anthony davis,  awaits the third, and perhaps final,  notice of his own execution…

despite the fact that he, and a sizable entourage of noted legal professionals, are confident they can prove, beyond reasonable doubt, that he did not commit the murder of which he has been convicted,, the supreme court has cast off his last remaining appeal.. it is evidently, a lot easier to just allow a duck,, to remain a duck….

These are the names, of the 9 Supreme Court Justices that hold each of our civil rights in their hands:

William Hubbs Rehnquist,  John Paul Stevens,  Sandra Day O’Connor,  Clarence Thomas,  Stephen Breyer,   Ruth Bader Ginsburg,   Antonin Scalia,  Anthony M. Kennedy,   David Hackett Souter…..

i cannot help but wonder which among them will cast a well researched,, intellectually sound,, bias free vote for the man, they feel will do what needs to be done, in order to bring our country out of the economic cycle of self destruction in which we currently find ourselves… or is that a moot point,, considering that they have already cast their vote,, and in their esteemed opinion,, a duck,, is a duck,, is a duck….

**authors note: i do not endorse, nor will i cast my vote, for either candidate in the current presidential election.**

the three of us on my parents wedding day, april 6, 1963

yesterday was a very difficult day.. however,,  i just got off the phone with the shift nurse in charge of my dads care,, and he said they are beginning to make real progress at emptying the bowel,, and the kidney function seems to be resuming… finally a light at the end of the tunnel… while by no means is he “out of the woods” what needs to happen is happening… and that in itself is a blessing…

last night,, in a desperate maneuver to find out what was going on,, i called the nurses station and had them go see if any one was in the room with my dad.. my mom was there, so i asked to be transferred to her.. although i think i caught her off guard, calling the room,, she allowed me to say hello and i love you to my dad,, who despite being sedated and having tubes in every orifice said “i love you too,, jod…. ” after an eight year silence,, i cannot tell you what it felt like to hear those words…

for those of you that may not have noticed,, i have a way of turning everything around and making it,, all about me.. while this is not an attribute of which i am particularly proud,, i do acknowledge its existence,, and when i catch myself doing it,, i do try and make a conscious effort to step outside myself, and at least be objective, even if i cannot truly see things thru the others perspective..

for the past week or so i have been so blinded by my desire to be there,, to see him,, to be together as a family,, that i failed see that to do so,, would be to blindly do what I needed to do for me.. it was what I could live with.. it was what would make me feel better… but,, it is not what my dad wants..

he doesn’t want us to see him like this.. he is a man’s man. a proud man.. and to see him like this would be to display weakness,, and i know that is not something he has ever allowed himself to do,, especially where his daughters are concerned… somehow,, having heard the sound of his voice,, uncharacteristically weak, and distorted by the tubes and medications,,   allowed me to see for the first time,  that the reason he doesn’t want us there has nothing to do with us being ‘mad’ or ‘disfellowshipped’ or who, after all this time, is right and who is wrong,, and everything to do with his desire to travel this particular path on his own… the way he sees fit.. in a way he is comfortable with…

i know now,, no matter what we may have allowed to keep us apart,, he does love me… and today,, that is the only part of his recovery i am going to allow to be about me….

my parents on their wedding anniversary, two years ago

as some of you may remember my dad was hospitalized twice in the recent past with heart problems. in addition to having an arrhythmia that was persistent and difficult to control with medication,, he had a stent placed to clear an obstruction,, and was ultimately diagnosed as needing an aortic valve replacement..

he had the aortic valve replacement surgery last wednesday (10-8-08),, and made it thru the surgery just fine.. however since then,, his kidneys have not resumed function,, and as of yesterday he has begun suffering severe swelling and distention of the abdomen,, possibly related to a shut down of the intestinal track according to my mom, who is not really good at relaying medical information,, (he is currently being fed and hydrated intravenously,, he has taken no food or water orally since before the surgery) or the liver shutting down according to my own arm chair detective work..

either way,, his current prognosis is not real good.. my mom has asked to bring in an acupuncturist today,, and the cardiac surgeon is compliant, which kind of makes me wonder if he isn’t to willing to try anything at this point.,, although according to mom he told her he is not “overly concerned”?????

my mom is a bit strung out,, but seems to be holding up pretty well and she maintains there is no reason for myself or my sisters to be there.. i feel so out of control.. while i know there is nothing i can do, medically,, i also know i feel like i should be there.. i feel like she needs us.. like he needs us.. no matter what they say..

we have been so dysfunctional for so long,, i don’t know whether i should do what she asks and stay here,, or do what my heart tells me is right and just go… is she reluctant to ask us to come? does she think to do so would be a ‘bad omen’ so to speak?? is my dad adamant about not seeing us??  does she just not want us there??  i have no way of knowing….

she says the elders of their congregation (jehovah’s witnesses) are there and they are doing everything.. i only know that they are not calling any of the daughters and updating us as to his condition,, (is that because we are all disfellowshipped??) does their being there take the place of your own daughters being there?? or is she saying that so i won’t feel guilty that i am not there?? i honestly do not know…

i just don’t know what to do..

Pink Slip by Michael L. Pittman

long about 5:30,,
the whole thang
jus’ took a shit…
i felt the final curtain
a commin’ down
-took ta spinin’
i had to sit…

set there fer
a good hour,
head a tucked
deep,,
bu’tween my knees.
mama wadn na kiddin’
when she said
they’d be days like these…

i snapped a
ten weight
line a spittle
from the corner a my lip.
grabbed a half
drunk up bud wizer
can,, like ta crush
under my grip..

tipped ‘er back
and took a swag
warm as piss-
it hit my throat.
i swallered hard,
finished her off,
and snatched up
the remote..

i mashed down
on the pow’r button
pinched off a chaw,
an took ta chewin’
flipped on past
the nightly news,,
don’t much care
what this country’s doin’….

when a man
can’t feed his chi’dren,
can’t keep a roof
over his wife.
when they come to take
your home-
the one damn thang
you worked fer all your life..

when you have ta hide
yer truck at night,
as they’s a wanting
that back too..
when yer kids is sick,
but the doc’s moved on,
can’t afford
to treat the likes a you..

you can’t pay
too much nevermind
to the fallin’
a ol’ wall street
when they done handed
you your pink slip-
and you ain’t sure
how yer kids is gone eat….