someone by the name of marlow44 left this quote on janet leigh’s blog, Poetmeister …on the road to Parnassus in response to a poem she wrote in honor of a loved one that had recently passed….
Eckhart Tolle once wrote,”The secret to life is die before you die–and to discover there is no death.”
Contentment by ~alianora on deviantART
when i read it,, it made me feel like for the first time i had stumbled across someone that “gets it”…. “to die before you die..”
why does that sound so plausible when he says it?? why does it seem to make so much sense?? as if there is an air of ethereal simplicity that surrounds it… it makes one want to exhale deeply and say,, “why of course….”
why is it, that instead of being envious,, instead of thinking “wow,, if only i could attain that sense of peace…” we seem to equate a sense of human completion before the prescribed hour of death,, with severe depression, a chemical imbalance,, or worse yet, suicidal tenancies?? why is it that when people say they are “ready to go”,, we feel compelled to say,, “no.. no,, you’re not… for the best is yet to come….”
so many times i have written about my willingness (a favorable disposition) to die.. please don’t confuse this with a desire ( a longing),, as they are no where near the same.. and each and every time i have voiced my feeling on this subject,, the response is always the same,, heartfelt comments telling me that “surely the best part of your life is just around the corner”,, and “it will be bigger and better than you ever imagined”,, and “your wildest dreams are yet to come true…”
i wonder,, why we are so unable to rejoice in the fact that someone feels fulfilled in their journey?? why is it so unthinkable that someone could have actually attained the goals they set out for themselves in this existence?? why do we choose to believe that it is in effect unbefitting of a human to have achieved true contentment?? after all,, who was it that said,, everyone has to die with their wildest dreams yet unfulfilled??
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i was so moved by feeling that came over me when i read those words,, i also wrote a poem called “and i wait… and posted it on just paisley….. i am hoping you will click over and share it with me as well……
August 16th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I love Eckhart Tolle. Just listening to – or reading – him seems to elevate one’s mindset, or state of being. I agree with you Paisley that there is nothing wrong with being at peace with this life’s departure. In fact, that’s how I feel too. There is much that I relish in my experiences on the planet, but if my time were to come, I know I’d feel I’d learned and contributed enough to feel satisfied and be ready to let go.
August 16th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I guess humans look at life as the be all. The only reason we look at death as sad is that while we lived we did absolutely nought but whinge and moan about everything we possibly could instead of living life to the full.
August 16th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
I think there is some primitive instinct to grab at life, living is what we do, we must hold on to it no matter the cost…….or that’s what people believe. The optimism you’ve encountered, is it them cheering you on, or themselves?
August 17th, 2008 at 3:30 am
I guess people rage against it because we associate suicide with extreme pain and despair and feel the person wasn’t in their right mind because of their grief. Yet when my cousin committed suicide, as well as the extreme sorrow I experienced, I also felt an overwhelming sense of relief that his pain had ended. Does that sound wrong? I loved him so much I didn’t want him to suffer any more. So I get you and Tolle. If someone feels they have done enough with their life and wants to end it, who are we to argue? I actually think we don’t discuss death enough in life. So many of us are terrified of it yet it is the one common experience we will all share. Yet we shy away from it. We need to change our way of thinking about it.
August 17th, 2008 at 5:50 am
i love that quote, and i totally agree. also, much buddhist practice is preparing for death. we cannot truly live if we do not know how to die.
August 17th, 2008 at 7:04 am
I have to agree with Jo about basic instinct but to reach apoint where you are at peace and could pass on without regret would be a good place to be..sometimes I feel that way..at tohers I don’t which means I guess there is till work to be done..
August 17th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Maybe I have much further to go in my personal journey to understand this … because I have to admit I don’t “get it.” I mean I could say that “I’ve died a thousand times,” but I’m meaning I was either rejected or unsuccessful … and it didn’t make the possibility of a real death any less fearful. Maybe my block IS that my thoughts about death are so tied up in fear. My greatest concern is that I will die without every having a) discovered my purpose or b) made any kind of difference … so very accomplishment oriented. Then again, I guess that when it is my time to go, I’d rather go out of curiosity than contentment. What IS on the other side? The mystery holds some facination for me!
August 17th, 2008 at 10:26 am
I think that the peace in accepting death comes from the knowledge of an after life. From the many spiritual experiences I have been fortunate to have in the past several years, I KNOW there is an afterlife. There is more to come. I have no fear of death any longer; I use to though. I still have many goals that I want to achieve but when my time comes to pass on, I will be ready for that too. You have brought up some interesting points and many to ponder. G
August 17th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
The ability to die with a willingness is a puzzle for me. On the death bed of my parents and grandparents there was that unwillingness to go. It was only with the last, “We will be fine” that they breathed their last. Maybe that is the key. We have a wonderful opportunity here on earth…a gift as it were. For us to demand more…an after life or a heaven is to miss the point. All we need is right in front of us. My father called it “heaven on earth”. And it can be of our own making.
And Jodi, you allow us to write about death and better understand our own philosophy. Thank you.
b
I am coming to understand how you feel about death. When you are at peace with all things in the universe, you seem to fear nothing, not even the most fearful of all…the end.
August 17th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
And finally why does death have to be viewed as an end?
August 18th, 2008 at 1:33 am
I am never quite comfortable commenting on others’ views of death! Perhaps, when I see their comments close to how they view and hold death, that is when I find I am very careful with what I say! What does that jumble mean? I feel death is like a sign post. It all depends on where it is, in what language and who reads it when. We all may find we interpret the personal impact quite differently!
Who has a right to tell me how to live my life? So the corollory must be: Who has a right to tell me about my death?
For me personally, death is a chance of circumstance, to divert this life elsewhere! But that is not all that death is for others!
August 18th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Completely out of context, one must die to change! The child of six unable to tie his shoes must have that part of himself die, before he can become the child who now ties his shoes. Full circle, in order to start a new behavior the old behavior must die. So I say let it go….let the turmoil die so peace can be born!
Hugs Giggles
August 18th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
Hmm…thats really insightful.
However…I am terrified of dying, and the idea of dying, or anyone I know and love dying.
But, I suppose in a way I have let “JASMINE” die. Actually I think I killed her off. And That was as freeing an experience as Ive ever had.
August 18th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
dont u even dare talke death up
August 19th, 2008 at 12:27 am
I have read this several times and can’t think of anything smart to say. I think that’s because I’m still processing it and trying to figure out where I stand in all of this. I’ll keep thinking!
August 19th, 2008 at 3:46 pm
You never cease to amaze me with where “you” are in your self and life.
I just want to say that again you hit us in the face with a feather soft invisible fist.
I wasn’t even living before my first near death (for lack of a better term) experience. I am one of the few God feels are worth of a actual do over on life.
One of my favorite quotes is “Shifty bastard, death becomes you.” it is from a rap song about 15 years ago. The author meant that the recipient of that particular dying deserved what he got. Your post is the opposite. Death can be a real eye opener and for the lucky few you are lucky enough to receive it and “live” to tell about it, lets just say you will never be the same. Swept clean, refreshed and the baggage you choose to reacquire is your choice more than responsibility heaped upon you by fate.
That make any sense? Anyway you say everything better and that is why i love you and your writings.
August 19th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
I prefer to go down kicking! Like the Dylan Thomas poem,
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Yep, I am in love with breathing in lots of air. I want to stay alive to enjoy everything. I guess I’m greedy.
I wonder how I’d feel if someone had a loaded gun to my head. Would i be grateful for what I’ve already had? Yes, but I know I’d want more….
August 20th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Marlowe44 is Glenn of Feel Free to Read, Paisley. I’ve been meaning to reply to Glenn’s Tolle comment, but right now we are in the midst of making funeral arrangements and sending out cards to everyone in Mary Lynne’s address book to inform them of her passing over, plus dealing with the duties as Executor. We’ve never had to do all that’s required after a death in the family and its been a real eye-opener and much harder than we ever imagined it would be. The one most important thing I’ve learned while attending to the affairs of ML’s death is the necessity of having a Will and keeping important papers all in one place! We couldn’t even get into her apartment without the Power of Attorney papers. Tonight I’ve been taking a few minutes to catch up on blogs, came to yours and felt I should let you know who Marlowe44 is and make a brief comment about what I took Tolle’s quote to mean.
For me, it means coming to terms with death before actually dying. Facing our fears. Facing our fear of dying. I’m not sure it necessarily means going through what’s known as the near death experience, but rather more like having a “close call” and having to face the fear of the inevitable, and accepting your own death without fear. I’ve had such an experience years ago when I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. The “tumor” was seen next to my pituitary gland on an x-ray taken after I slammed my head in a car door and sustained a concussion. (It’s okay to laugh. Really.) I went through hell for about 2 months while going from one doctor to another until it was the consensus I had an empty sella turcica (proof that I’m really an air-head. just kidding). I was scared to death as a single Mom of an 11 year old. I went through shock, fear, anger, denial, and finally acceptance of the inevitable. I came to peace with the hand I was dealt before I was informed that what I had was not life-threatening. Ever since that time tho, I’ve been living in the Now, enjoying life to the fullest even with this DD. I “died” years ago and no longer feel afraid; every year since that time has just been icing on the cake, so to speak. I plan on writing as much in response to Glenn’s comment on my blog unless I can learn how to Trackback to yours.
August 21st, 2008 at 11:26 pm
I actually noticed a difference in myself with regard to death a few years ago. I’m not sure whether it was because I felt I’d done what I was supposed to do or not, but know, that somehow, it was something those left behind feared, and that I would not be one of them. But then, I began to worry about them, and the chaos their lives could become if I ended. Now that bothers me. So, I guess I’m preoccupied by dusting out the corners so I leave no cobwebs. Or something. That’s pretty pathetic, isn’t it?
August 29th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I hear you and I must comment, before I comment, that you too wrote on an anniversary of mine, actually a date that has meaning 3 times over, is the day this was posted. I am anxous to read the poem of yours that this quote inspired… but the comment here is I think I know what you mean. When my husband passed everyone had nasty stuff to say to me, act on me, and feel about me. one day… this girl I had always hated sat across from me, looked me squarely in the eye and asked if she could just ask me one thing, and i granted her that… i dont know what she said, something about have i cried about his death, like on my own maybe when no one was listening to my every movement…. but I do know what i replied…. after all i had had just about enough at this point… i returned her gaze, mine steely and unfeeling and simply said to her “Did it ever occur to you that a real friend would be happy Casey finally got what he wanted?” and then I got up, left that house and was not invited to the funeral.
Still I do not see it as a pursuit to end in this world but and acceptance and appreciation for what it can mean… sorry for the long winded response, but thank you for letting me share, I dont think I’ve told anyone that yet…. lateron then
-g