Chaos by ~moonbeamballerina on deviantART
i am so thinking about
what i have to do
to make my life livable..
don’t get me wrong,,
i love my little corner of the world..
i love my solitude..
i love my dogs …
i love my house..
i love my writing..
but i am a very
unsatisfactory
boring
human being
at the moment-
and i need to add….
some chaos..
i’d love to say
love-
or sex-
or entertainment-
if i thought for a minute
that would fit the bill…
but i know me
and chaos
is the only thing
that rings true to me..
the only thing
that makes my heart race
the only thing
that makes me feel-
alive…
i know not
from what source
such chaos will come..
i don’t even know
if it is possible
in a little town
of just over 500 people
on the west coat
of marin county califoinrnia
to find an adequate amount
of chaos
to fulfill my desire
but i do know..
i am gonna find out….
June 30th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Nothing like a little destruction to stoke the fires of creation.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:30 pm
Hmmmm…everything we know about our existence came from chaos. The pieces fall into place, but I’m a strong believer that our will puts many of those pieces in the places we want them to be. I’d love to live up there and have always wanted to visit Mendicino. I would think that chaos there would be somewhat like planting a palm tree and putting out a colorful umbrella just to see who’d notice. Maybe some plastic flamingos. Now that would be fun.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Marin County? Beautiful country. Love the hills, the dark green crowns of the trees. Chaos, hmmm. Why not throw yourself into a writing group? Or start one yourself.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
For some reason Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe has been on my mind quite a lot recently. So all I can say in response to your post is , “Towanda!”
June 30th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I can surely relate to this! ‘Settling’ is so uncomfortable until the rut is very deep.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Makes me think of a line from a song: “you bleed just to know you’re alive”. Sometimes you need to shake things up to remember you’re still breathing, feel like you’re still being. I hope you find what you’re looking for.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
That image is amazing, makes me think of auras and if yours is needing chaos, go for it.
June 30th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Sounds good to me!
July 1st, 2008 at 1:06 am
Appropriate illustration for this post….adore the colors and movement, old hippy spirit that I am! Interesting what Lirone said because I too have been thinking about the relevance of Twanda as a metaphor for midlife! Particularly the parking lot scene…. that choas you have a hankering for….redirect it….not sure if it’s the writing material you crave or the action. But it can bring heartache….instead ask yourself, who am I and what do I want! Unless it’s an addiction, I highly doubt that it’s chaos you crave….I have so many friends who sabotage their life with chaos!….once they recognized it they moved in new directions! Good luck with this one! It’s a life altering poem!
Hugs Giggles
July 1st, 2008 at 2:56 am
First, the artwork is great! I found this poem to be slyly powerful and alluring for wanting to know what comes next. I love the ending; almost with a knowing wink.
July 1st, 2008 at 3:48 am
why paisley why
July 1st, 2008 at 4:03 am
First chaos, then order and peace. That’s usually how it goes. Go for it, my dear!
July 1st, 2008 at 4:26 am
Somehow I’m not surprised! There have been some recent poems of yours where I hear similar voices almost crying out for that bolt of lightning! Now it has been stated openly, the time is right to face the rush of change! But can you accept the surprise of just what that change could be? Expect the unexpected!
July 1st, 2008 at 5:48 am
Chaos comes in a myriad of forms, I suppose. And the question remains, which one of them is right for me. Good love, mind-blowing sex, writing a great, great poem… see what I mean? I also think that if any of these happen, and we call them chaos, then they aren’t here to stay.
But, as you say, these “don’t fit the bill” — you’re looking for something deeper and life-transforming, aren’t you?
July 1st, 2008 at 6:06 am
I can relate - I compare boredom to death. I think the artwork and the poem work together well.
-Nicole
July 1st, 2008 at 6:47 am
i read it twice and as soon as i finished the words came pouring out of my head. i posted over on “your poems and your stories” chaos by jorc709
July 1st, 2008 at 7:23 am
http://gameover709.wordpress.com/2008/07/01/chaoschaos/
try this….
July 1st, 2008 at 7:26 am
actually…see my site
July 1st, 2008 at 7:52 am
Ah, I understand this very well…courting chaos is risky and thrilling and invigorating all at once! I wish you lots of excitement…
Love,
D.
July 1st, 2008 at 7:54 am
may be “she” needs more people in her life..it would surely increase the probability of chaos..and you may never know what you will find
July 1st, 2008 at 8:05 am
Hmmmm I’m wondering about what your definition of chaos is? Chaos might have worked in the past but did it really? Love, sex and entertainment might be a nice distraction.
I am stuck at home alot but if I’m in a rut I turn down entertainment. I usually need a hand up to get out of the hole. My hand is here if you ever need it!
Let me know if chaos works so I can try it in my next rut.:)
Get ready I’m going to send a hug…no gagging! HUGS
July 1st, 2008 at 8:23 am
Really, stirring thee pot is good for the circulation, steeping out of one’s comfort zone can often make a person feel moere alove.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:24 am
love or sex
or infatuation or lust
queries of the agies
love the painting
July 1st, 2008 at 10:27 am
I like the writing group idea. Maybe two or three. You have enough material and they can get pretty hairy.
July 1st, 2008 at 12:55 pm
paisley,
And your definition of chaos is?
rel
July 1st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
chaos in any form being it sex booze or what ever is where you find it..and you find it sometimes in the most unusual places..enjoy if you have the need for we all need a little something that fires the soul
July 1st, 2008 at 6:11 pm
if only i could give you some of my chaos.
July 1st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
I like my solitude and quiet life too, but I need chaos as well. Isn’t that what life’s all about? A balance between absolute chaos and absolute peace? Great poem:)
July 1st, 2008 at 8:52 pm
I am drowning in chaos….I need some silence. Wanna Trade lives for a week?
July 1st, 2008 at 9:45 pm
That is exactly where I am, bringing on the chaos. Different state, same state. This has inspired writing from me, only on paper for now though. I might post it later.
I do hope you find a journey that fulfills this soon. I also hope your beautiful dog is doing well.
July 1st, 2008 at 10:07 pm
yeah I kind of go back and forth. I need that bit of excitement, but after awhile i start craving some peace and quiet. I hope you find what your craving. And after reading your writing I would be hard pressed to describe you as boring.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:48 am
Chaos? Been there. Done that. Perhaps I am out of line here, but I’m going to use this space to add to all the above comments . . . my “take” on life. The following poem is from the preface page of my Butterflies And Bumblebees. Perhaps chaos helped me to be more aware of how. at 88, how truly lucky I am today. This is what I really wanted out of life. . . but found little of for all too many years.
To my children, their spouses, their children, each friend:
to everything there comes an end. I was not born a poet,
glib of tongue and ever able to express myself with Shakespearean speech, nor was I born with desires to reach
heights quite unattainable. Throughout my life I’ve wished but this: a home where love and laughter flowed
smooth as honey on fresh-baked bread. I wished my table spread with kindness and with gaiety: with happiness, tranquillity but sometimes, found instead, bumblebees mixed in with butterflies: all which I’ve put in poetry.
When I bid this life adieu I trust my thoughts, put down in rhyme, for the better or the worse, will be the catalyst that I’m hoping that this book of verse will keep me ever close to you. With Love To All, Mom, Grandmom, Sister, Aunt Mary, Mary, Friend.
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:42 am
Maybe simple energy from people can look like chaos when you’re distrustful of needing and having it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Chaos - I feel ya sis. Right now I’m in a peaceful mist, yet fearing the chaotic; perhaps that’s why I receive so much of it. I know chaos is just around the corner - it’s funny we never appreciate that which we have; I’d trade places with you now, but after too much serenity, i’d miss the chaos. And such is life . . . Beautiful thoughts - I do remember feeling that boring feeling, not quite knowing what to do with myself - An idle mind is the devil’s worship - I know something devilish will pop up in your life soon! I can feel it. Peace, Light and Love . . . CordieB.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
typo. I meant to say devil’s workshop - not worship. Oh my, wonder what I was thinking ???
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Well, you’d better keep us posted!
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:20 pm
You go for it girl…chaos get the juices going better than coffee. Move, rearrange, give away, do what you have to do…a new job? Let us know.
b
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 am
well, when you bump into Chaos, give him a message from me - that next time he visits, to please let me know beforehand…
me, i like anything but!
July 4th, 2008 at 10:48 am
time to stir things up a bit!!
July 6th, 2008 at 8:34 am
Chaos is fun!
July 9th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
I wish you all the best. Hugs!
This poem will be linked to on July 13th at PWB in our July Collection.
Thank you for being a member at PWB.
July 13th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
I really liked this the first time I read it but didn’t comment. I’m glad it was chosen for PWB. I know exactly how you feel (needing chaos) and it’s not something that is easy to articulate or explain. It’s just a deep feeling inside. Good luck!
July 18th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Visiting from PWB this time. I’ve had times of big chaos in my life and while there was always trouble along with the exhilaration, I would never take them back.