i read something this morning on a blog i frequent called the ole blue the heretic,, we’ll call it the lonely poem,, and it reminded me,, that there is much to be said about the virtues of simple human contact…
Seduction by ~samiam014 on deviantART
-she grabbed a handful of his shirt,, and roughly pulled him in close to her.. with no introduction,, and even less provocation,, she grasped his lower lip firmly in her teeth,, and proceeded to run her tongue slowly, seductively, along the lower line of his lip..
he felt a deeply sensuous growl escape her lips and travel like renegade electricity thru the tip of her tongue.. in that instant,, every fiber of his being, simultaneously ignited..
.. before he was able to wonder who she was, or what had possessed her,, she let go.. with a quick, over the shoulder glance,, wide blue eyes peered back at him from under a fringe of dark bangs, and she disappeared.. lost into the hazy apparition of cigarette smoke from whence she had emerged just a moment before… -
a simple seduction.. nothing outrageous,, nothing so far off the beaten path that a portion of our being is unable to instantly identify with a similar scenario in our own lives…
now,, allow me to revamp this scenario ever so slightly,, by introducing some further details about our main character.. lets say,, i add that “she” is over 45,, and that “she” is a few,, (okay 25) pounds over her ideal weight.. perhaps, there is a glimmer of gray breaking thru the bottle brown of her hair,, (just at the root line, mind you) and even tho they are not as noticeable in the dimly lit,, smoky atmosphere of the bar room in which this scenario is playing out,, her once flawless skin,, is now showing signs of life’s inevitable weathering in the form of fine lines,, perhaps on her brow, her lip,, or around her once devastatingly blue eyes….. this scenario goes from simple seduction,, to a rather unwelcome visual real quick,, huh???
at some point,, thru no real fault of our own, we reach a point where the a simple seduction is no longer simple.. the fact that we find ourselves,, no longer young and or beautiful in the same ways in which we once were,, seems to induce a feeling of inadequacy (although some choose hide behind the term “maturity”) which, in more instances than not, will cause us to shy away from such spontaneous displays of seduction,, as they are more likely to become open invitations to rejection or humiliation,, than precursors to something ever so much more delicious….
- even tho for all intents and purposes,, the act of human contact does not have to be linked directly to ones sexuality,, or lack there of- in reality,, it is..
finding myself in a portion of life for which i am extremely ill prepared,,( as i fully intended to be dead well before now,, ) i know, first hand, what it is like to experience a life devoid of human contact.. it is painful and scary- and no matter how many times you tell yourself,, “you are better off”,, or “you don’t play well with others” or “you have a distinct knack for always choosing the absolute wrong partner”,, in the back of your mind,, you cannot help but ask yourself,, if you have already been touched “like that” for the last time in your natural life.. and the longer it goes on,, the little voice in the back of your head becomes ever so much more distinct as it chants knowingly into your stream of consciousness, “yes.. yes.. yes…”
and although i find myself at a loss as to how i might further expound on this topic-i guess i just wanted to throw this out there,, so that all of you who know exactly what i am talking about,, would know,, that you,, my friend,, are not alone…..
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation - as you grow older, it starts avoiding you. ~Author Unknown
June 28th, 2008 at 8:27 am
seduction soothes the soul
June 28th, 2008 at 9:32 am
“- even tho for all intents and purposes,, the act of human contact does not have to be linked directly to ones sexuality,, or lack there of- in reality,, it is..”
the sentence you wrote..”or lack there of” couldn’t help wonder how true it is…you got me thinking
June 28th, 2008 at 10:28 am
I love this, start to finish. Feeling teary, again, thinking of my mother and something she said last week about never being touched unless my boys hug and kiss her (which made me feel really bad but I suspect it wasn’t that kind of touch she was thinking of, more the easy comfortable touching that comes from someone you’ve known forever)…..she’s only 62, so far from finished and it is sad, heartbreaking really. Anyway, I digress, sorry. Great post.
June 28th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Sorry I took it down. I may put it back up after a few corrections are made.
June 28th, 2008 at 11:30 am
paisley,
Perhaps you’re correct. At least from your perspective it appears so. Let me over a different perspective from across the alley.
When I was a teen I had a crush on my art teacher. That was in 7th and 8th grade. Later as a high school teen I had a crush on an English teacher. At the time they were both in their mid-forties. Neither were the classic models of beauty, far from it some would offer. None the less I found them extremely attractive.
The tale doesn’t stop there. Both of these widowed ladies are now in their ninties and I’ve had the pleasure to minister to their needs (medical/anesthesia) in the operating room of late. I can still imagine touching either or both today. Holding their hand while in conversation was a sensual experience for me today.
There was a story on MSN last week about a love affair between two nursing home residents both suffering from alzheimers. It is said that to observe them together was like watching two lustful teenagers. She was in her 80’s and he was ninty-two.
Human touch is a need as importat as food and air, and when that touch becomes love, or lust, or both; the wrinkles disappear, and the eyes still sparkle.
Sensualness is hardly for the young, solely….
rel
June 28th, 2008 at 11:36 am
It’s back up!
June 28th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Jodi, Congratulations on becoming a midnight wanderer, bythe way!
Inevitably time converts guy’s six packs into eight or twelve and women’s firm breasts become like pendulums, hanging lower than intended and swaying with the slightest movement. I suppose when looks fade we better hope there’s a personality underneath.
June 28th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Wow! Well said and oh so very true. Human touch is necessary until the day we die. That is why older people like me hug at every opportunity…it just feels good to touch another being. And we still feel sexy! (sorry)
b
June 28th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Human touch is food for the soul..we all need it ..no matter where we are in our lives…to go with out leaves an empty space that can’t fill with anyhting else …though God knows we try sometimes…
June 28th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Hi Paisley, I am a friend of Selma’s and am a big fan of your writing. I rarely comment on blogs but this post has moved me so much. My internet connection is down at home so Sel has very kindly allowed me to use her computer for some work I need to finish. I’m having a coffee break so thought I’d read your blog.
I’m nearly 44 and I haven’t been touched by a man for over ten years. A lot of it is personal preference as I was a rape victim when I was much younger and I find relationships extraordinarily difficult. I tell myself daily that I am fine with being alone but there are days, moments where I long for the human touch. The emptiness is bleak. I often see the years stretching before me and imagine my emotional self shrivelled and possibly discarded. I don’t know if I can stand it. Thank you for making me realise I am not the only one who feels this way. You probably aren’t aware how often your insights have helped me. Thank you.
June 29th, 2008 at 2:49 am
It’s all a matter of trust.
Trust and that touch………….does it have to be physical?
June 29th, 2008 at 4:04 am
The last time for me, I was forty-five. I am now nearly 59 and the desire to be touched has not diminished with the passage of time.
Thank you for this most thoughtful, tender and insightful little essay, Paisley.
June 29th, 2008 at 5:56 am
Paisley, without seemingly trying, you cause your reader to look inside his or her inner “heart” and come out the better for it. As for touching? A brotherly hug, no more, thank you. I found myself always the giver and never the receiver. I don’t know who or what is to blame, but I’ll go to my death—in spite of giving birth to six chilren, and, yes, an affair or two, or three, without knowing what it feels like to have had an orgasm during sexual intercourse.
June 29th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Although I’m young enough not to have to worry about the last time, I definitely know that feeling of hungering for touch. And a casual seduction can be flattering and fun, but it only touches the surface of that hunger. My favourite remedy for times like this is to book myself a massage - helps on so many levels, and anyone can do it!
June 29th, 2008 at 7:54 am
great post perhaps because of how brave and personal it is. that hunger for sensuality is certainly natural but for me seems easier to obtain than other layers of intimacy such as love or trust.
June 29th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Jodi, I felt like this five years ago and let me tell you I had the over 40 look going on. My mind comletely shut men off and I was content (with a few double A’s). lol I felt that tiny pull and opened myself up to a chance at spontaneous seduction (no more). I got love instead…who knew? Here’s to chance! Cheers!
June 29th, 2008 at 9:08 am
i think whether you are young or old, human touch is so very important and that feeling of being wanted. it is hard when our bodies change and betray us. but those needs are still there. wonderfully insightful post and i look forward to reading you more.
June 29th, 2008 at 11:53 am
hello…found my way over from Ole Blue’s.
Thank you for sharing such vulnerable words. I’m sad to read so many long for and don’t take touch. I don’t always either, or feel awkward asking. It’s valuable.
June 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
There is nothing to compare to the human touch, followed by the human voice, especially
centered postively and or lovingly on us.
June 29th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Having been raised in an environment where physical contact was very minimal - even hugs - I can relate wholeheartedly to what you are saying here. I’ve found that the slightest physical gesture, like someong grasping my hand, or rubbing my back - fully clothed - almost elicits in me a tearful response. Kind of feels like a healing reprieve in a sense. Whatever version one prefers, there is really very little as powerful as skin to skin contact.
June 29th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
((((((Jodi))))
Thanks for the mantra, I wrote about it today. I’ve narrowed my chapters down to four, I’ll be sending in the agent letter the week after next.
Rose
xo
June 29th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
I am w/o words here–good personal piece– sometimes we have to go in the rain and just dance
June 29th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
When you write moving pieces like this you are, in fact, reaching out and touching all of us. So many of us are broken, longing for something more. Your words have the tenderness of a hand on our shoulders. Thank you.
June 29th, 2008 at 6:57 pm
I like what Scott says! And Lirone too. Have you ever had Thai massage? Check it out, it’s heaven.
June 29th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
This was a brilliant twist. It made me wonder, though, as the woman got older and heavier, what about the guy? It would be noxious if the guy stayed young, but if the guy was older, too, seduction might still work. To a guy 60, say, a 45 year old can still seem young and sexy. Or even to a 45 year old guy. I’ve noticed how the older we get, the more differently people age. People always think I’m much younger than I am. But I also often see people my age who look, to me, twenty years older. Illness, alcohol, self-neglect, misery all take their toll. As far as physical contact goes, there are so many married couples who don’t touch each other either. Having a partner does not automatically mean having physical contact. Sad but true.
June 30th, 2008 at 1:20 am
I think both scenarios are sexy. I’ve always found confidence and intelligence very sexy and I have been attracted to men in their 70’s because they were witty, intelligent and confident. I have to say I am fortunate to have a husband who is affectionate and we can’t fall asleep until there is some cuddling. Human touch is so important it gives us a feeling of connectedness. Don’t let being a little overweight and a few gray hairs stop you from experiencing whatever it is you feel you’re lacking. Good God woman, sexiness is oozing from this page.
June 30th, 2008 at 2:50 am
I think maybe some old stereotypes are breaking down nowadays. People are living longer, are sexually active for longer, and getting ‘old’ no longer applies. A long time ago - pre-my-computer - I wrote about the ‘cellulite swingers’. The 50+ generation is taking revolution through the ages.
What does this mean? There’s always time and always hope.
June 30th, 2008 at 5:00 am
I live and breathe for my partner’s touch and I am in the 2nd story bracket! In some ways, perhaps, the more touch there is available, the more I crave it. My partner often tells me I am like a cat! I can’t imagine life without touch, but know, sadly, the time will come.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:03 am
The real character you describe is no less seductive.
It’s the actions, not the statistics.
June 30th, 2008 at 8:12 am
What’s sad is the prejudgement. Perhaps this woman may not be able to compare herself to a 20-something. But who’s to say that she can’t spark that old flame in the other? The sexiest woman is the woman who believes she’s sexy. Everything else can be bought at Macy’s in the woman’s department. Give me a woman who believes she’s sexy and I’ll have more than I can handle - I’m sure.
D
June 30th, 2008 at 11:26 am
What is it about “youth being wasted on the young”?
The trick, I would think, would be to have some sort of relationship already in place. A friendship if you will. In my experience men and women of similar age and interests in contact for any reason usually wind up fanning the sheets and sooner than later. I realize that’s not politically correct but almost nothing is ever correct if it’s politically correct.
June 30th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
being of the same age and inclination toward being around others….it comforts me to know I, and you, are not alone…at least not always…thanks paisley for being so wonderfully articulate and honest
June 30th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
This is why I often wonder why people don’t try harder to maintain healthy marriages… it’s one way to avoid worrying about the aging process and it’s effect on one’s sexiness.
I agree with Jason’s comment– a partner who is too focused on physical appearance isn’t worthwhile anyway….
June 30th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I’m in a quandry about this because I fit the bill on your interjection of age and all it brings. I’m comfortable in my skin. I’ve earned my stripes in all their glory — as has my husband. We still feel young even though we are definitely not. But it’s a pleasant feeling most of the time. Okay, so this didn’t make any sense.
June 30th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
This is a provocative post, but I don’t mean that in terms of sexuality. Rather, it’s provocative because it made me think about how I view myself as being deserving of physical touch. I’ve been married for 13 years, and it’s taken us a while to work out the kinks in our relationship. One of the biggest obstacles for me was overcoming my perception that my desirability to my husband corresponded with my physical perfection. I also learned I needed to ask for the specific kind of touch I wanted, and that doing so allowed me to more fully enjoy reciprocating for my husband. Above all, I found that touch (sexual and otherwise) is so much more meaningful for me as our emotional intimacy deepens. I have also found this to be true with friends and family, as we demonstrate our affection for each other with physical touch. YMMV, for me touch is more satisfying when I am comfortable in my own skin, and when I am willing to develop emotional intimacy by being vulnerable.
July 1st, 2008 at 8:54 pm
“i know, first hand, what it is like to experience a life devoid of human contact”
um yeah. I did that for 2 solid years. it was just as scary and terrifying to allow that BACK into my life…and quite frankly, somewhat of a let down
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I’ve been reading Blue for a long time - I think you and he would make a dynamite couple.
Just sayin’.
July 6th, 2008 at 8:31 am
I find flaws attractive.