“something inside me is energy,, and it was not created,, so it cannot be destroyed….” from the girls by lori lansens
we stood in front
of my childhood closet
fighting about
the course that i was on
she was positive i would
never make it
into the kingdom of her god
and to tell you the truth
to this day,,
i am ever thankful
i will not..
“i will never die!!”
i remember yelling at her,,
knowing full well
that my physical body
would someday expire..
but i knew then
with the clarity
of an epiphany,
that the force
that i called “i”
would never die,,
but just move on..
to date,,
i have received
no further revelation.
no moments of insight,
no visions in the night..
yet, each time, that i recall
that single apparition
of teenage clarity,,
it rings with a truth
i have never found
in any god…
photo:
http://shadyxxlurker.deviantart.com/art/Closet-of-Black-77537103
June 13th, 2008 at 11:45 am
That you for sharing that moment when you saw your place in the world. What you had as a child, many people never achieve.
June 13th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
“the force
that i called “i”
would never die,,
but just move on..”
A very powerful moment put in poetry that will also live on.
I’m not a religious person but I do have a very personal connection to God. I believe we will all just move on and I’m glad that you had that epiphany. I guess I better start on my own SS.
June 13th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I’ve never heard anyone say this before. I know exactly what you mean. When I was a teen I had these moments of exhilaration. I’m an atheist but these moments have always remained as an experience of something..I don’t know, in touch with the world.
June 13th, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I’d say that your one revelation covers them all, no? Funny how epiphanies can come in the quaintest of locations. I’ve had many a one at the gas pump, and no, I do not believe it was the fumes: time to see blue skies and big cumulus: knowledge descends. Peace, paisley…
June 13th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Yes, I know exactly what you mean, you caught it brilliantly.
June 13th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
ring ring!
Heaven here God speaking!
June 13th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Powerful moment captured here!
I’m not a religious person, but I do believe we go on. I what form, I don’t know.
It is not more surprising to be born twice than once; everything in nature is resurrection.” ~Voltaire
June 13th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Prompt’s not up yet so, spoiler……… http://rainbowsreflectraysofthesun.blogspot.com/2008/06/writers-island.html
June 13th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Very interesting insites and a lot of truth to it. Well written. “and to tell you the truth to this day, i am ever thankful i will not..” Bravo!
June 13th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Hi sweetie, wanted to let you know I fixed your comment. It had the old link with ‘-’ in it.
There is more to you than meets the I.
June 13th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
even as a teen, you had a strong inner voice, calling you to be different, be who you are meant to be. you just seem to see many things with clarity Pais. I really love the confidence in this. I hope that force doesn’t move on for a very long time
)
June 13th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Epiphany is my favorite word. Ever since I was a child. It was the way it sounded, then. Later its meaning is what resonated with me.
No, you will not die. There is nothing of her God that you need embody or become. You have always been, and you will always be Divine. xoxo
June 13th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Great job. Your spirit knew even then. Hateful for someone to use religion against a young girl. No one needs to hear they won’t go to heaven at that tender age. But you were strong. GReat poem.
I haven’t been by as much in the last few days. My dad had open heart surgery, been running back and forth (we live in the same area). Anyway, nice to read about a moment of clarity, expressed so well in your poem.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
brabrabravo!!!!
June 13th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
I am so taken by your poetry. I always makes me think that we need to be strong in our own self image…judgement is not to be make by anyone else. The closet took me back to guilt laid on in an effort to keep me under control. I still feel sad when I think of it.
b
thank you for the comment.
June 14th, 2008 at 12:00 am
I really like the poem. It’s striking.
June 14th, 2008 at 5:17 am
Wonderful affirmation of the spirit. This is the inner voice standing both quietly and loudly. Love it!
June 14th, 2008 at 5:42 am
I can relate so well to this!
June 14th, 2008 at 6:46 am
And this is the difference between the inner knowing that is spirituality, and the codification of a religion, which is too often diktat.
June 14th, 2008 at 6:54 am
wow paisley. powerful poem. “the kingdom of her god” – i can definitely relate to that type of childhood scene.
June 14th, 2008 at 10:57 am
there was more than enough shame and blame going on in front of those childhood closets, to be sure — would that i had such enlightenment, not to mention the courage to speak it, in my youth – this piec was a very stirring one for me – thank you!!!
June 14th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Sometimes the most piercing insights seem to stick with us forever.
Blessings,
Linda
IN MY FATHER’S FIELD, at Nickers and Ink
June 14th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Ironically, my most profound spiritual experience was on the heels of my first walking the isle of the Southern Baptist church of my youth. I don’t know, personally, another person who even professes to have had as profound an encounter with the Almighty. I can’t imagine anyone benefiting from it any less than I have either. The more subtle, and almost as rare and powerful flashes-of-insight have served me much better than the glimpse of the terrifying ultimate reality. (Any benefit I derived from either is invisible in worldly terms.) Seems the folks whose mind’s are closed get neither. It’s sad and unfair, just like life.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:57 am
To have such wisdom at such a young age is remarkable.
June 15th, 2008 at 8:37 am
That moment you experienced as a teenager is what spirituality is all about. I am actually quite emotional after reading this. You are so wise.
June 15th, 2008 at 10:44 am
that is some closet woman lol
June 16th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Wonderful. Certainly brings back memories. Were you in my closet or something years ago???
~smj