this has been an unbelievable week.. first of all,, the fiasco with my original domain name being banished into a limbo of sorts as a form of retribution that i must pay for canceling my hosting services with hostgator… then,, the ongoing problem of manually replacing all of the photos i have used to accompany my posts that still remain in said limbo with the old domain name… and now this……
today i was contacted by a blogger known as “the tart”,, she has an absolutely wonderful blog where she incorporates her own photo’s along with some very cheeky commentary… called cheap tarts and cigarettes…
i first came across her blog almost exactly a year ago on a site called illustration friday… some months previous to that i had come across the most amazing photo… a beautiful paisley woman that fit ever so perfectly with the melancholy opaque persona that was at that point in time,, pouring herself out in my writing… in november of 2006 i posted a plea on my blog for someone to help me find the artist behind this paisley beauty,, but no one came forward,, so i assumed no one owned her,, and she became,, paisley…
so when i found a thumbnail of the paisley beauty on illustration friday,, i tracked the photo back to “the tart’s” blog,, and attempted to contact her via email,, as i wanted to know if she was the owner of the photo, and if so,, see if i could have her consent to use the photo… i never heard back from her,, so i didn’t pursue it.. i guess a part of me just wanted to keep her all to myself,, and thus, i convinced myself,, that if she never responded,, that she too must have “borrowed” the photo….
well,, today when “the tart” contacted me,, it came to light,, that she is in fact the artist behind my beloved paisley beauty,, and she would rather i not continue to use her…
as i sit here and type this,, i am crying.. it is like i am losing a dear friend.. as silly as it sounds that photo has become a part of me,, an alter ego of sorts.. she was strong,, when i was weak,, she saw me thru the grieving process following david’s death,, and the period of depression that all but devoured me afterward.. it was she,, not i,, that kept going… for that i will remain eternally grateful to her,, and i know,, i will never forget her……
somehow,, i am left feeling as if the events of the past week are trying to tell me something.. like maybe it is time to come out of hiding.. time to move on… time to leave the melancholy opaque paisley persona behind,, and be me… funny thing is,, i am not really sure where jodi ends and paisley begins…..
in closing i do want to share with you the beauty that evolved out of all of this… out of the kindness of her heart,, this amazing young lady,, whom i know only as “the tart”,, has offered to make me a paisley beauty all my own.. a photoshopped picture of me,, the real me,, in all my paisley glory!!!
so soon we will be graced with the next incarnation of paisley,, and, i for one,, am anxiously awaiting her emergence…
photo:
May 31st, 2008 at 5:29 pm
paisley,
Oooooh, I can hardly wait!
rel
May 31st, 2008 at 6:19 pm
OH Paisley – Jodi (You will still be Paisley) what a week is right but what a wonderful gesture to receive a Paisley woman ALL your own- and believe me when I say – you will STILL be strong, she will still carry you through and even better she will be truly YOUR heroine!!!!! I cannot wait either and I am so happy that LUCY awarded you that award!!!! Through the storm and after the storm comes sunshine.
May 31st, 2008 at 6:26 pm
I, too have grown fond of the paisley icon and I always thought that was somewhat the real you, can’t wait to see the new paisley
May 31st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
As sad as I am for your loss, I am grateful for a new paisley…who knows what else comes from such transitions and transformations.
Your link has been freshened at RWP.
(I like knowing your flesh & blood name, BTW.)
May 31st, 2008 at 7:31 pm
you’ve had a helluva week.
May 31st, 2008 at 7:32 pm
WOW, that is very strange that both these things occurred in one week and I like your assessment of why….can’t wait to see your new icon…..it’ll be interesting to see how your writing develops and unfolds with the new photo…..
May 31st, 2008 at 8:16 pm
so, i’ve been out of the blog world for what, a week?…and already all this has happened? wow, i should definitely not take another leave of absence. i am sorry for all of these mishaps, but at the same time, perhaps they are gifts in disguise! when i first saw your ‘paisley’ photo, i thought it was really YOU–but i’m really excited to see the real YOU in a photo-shopped paisley format! It sounds like it’s just time for you to have a ‘coming out’ party! yay Jodi–you go girl!!
May 31st, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I look forward to seeing it.
May 31st, 2008 at 10:19 pm
I was just commenting with another blogger about our online personas … we are an extension of these personas and it is interesting how these personas start to impact our real world selves.
Looking forward to seeing the next Paisley … I know she will be the same wonderful writer and provacateur as ever! Peace, JP/deb
June 1st, 2008 at 1:23 am
First up I am so very, very sorry that I’ve not been present for you the past few days, I could kick myself, as I explained below I assumed you weren’t posting cos of the domain business which you e’ed me about but idiotsky me hadn’t updated my bloody reader. Anyway, hugs, I know how hard this must be and I got to say, having seen that photo of you with your dogs I assumed the picture was you, it looks so like your face. I am pleased that the artist will do you another image, that’s very generous but I’m gutted too that you can’t continue to use it, visually you are that woman, but mentally, how I read you the person, well that’s something else, for me you are honesty, truth, poetry, and a friend, albeit a cyber one……
June 1st, 2008 at 1:29 am
ps funnily enough, though, I have thought of you as Jodi for the longest time…….
June 1st, 2008 at 4:13 am
As always, thank you for sharing YOU so honestly. From this pain, it would appear you have found your way to a new and, hopefully, better place. I look forward to knowing more of the “real” you.
June 1st, 2008 at 4:32 am
cool–glad it worked out
June 1st, 2008 at 7:41 am
What an incredible story. I identified so strongly with your Paisley icon. But there has been a metamorphosis. You are definitely going in a new direction. This is amazing. It is as if we are watching your destiny unfold.
June 1st, 2008 at 8:19 am
Paisley, there is not one word I can put in this comment that hasn’t been used by a former commentator. You are one hell of a terrifically, wonderful, super-sensitive to other’s human being, and I am fortunate in having discovered your website shortly after becoming a blogger in my own right. Don’t forget, if there have been others, I had first dibs on “adopting” you. Mary from Meander With Me.
June 1st, 2008 at 10:15 am
I’ve read The Tart for about 3 years now and had dealings with her. She is a sweet girl and I’m sure she has good reason in denying your use of Paisley. She’s very creative and I’m sure you will love the replacement.
BTW – she doesn’t know me as Zouxzoux but by my personal blog/name.
June 1st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Paisley – thank you so much for the Worth1000 tip – I went and checked and only found ‘rules’ under theie frequently asked questions, so i took the image off and directed a link to it instead. I was also wondering if I could tag you to do a book meme too since I have to tag five people and I think a book meme by a poet such as yourself I sure to be a real treat!!! So I am hereby tagging thee!!!!
June 1st, 2008 at 12:19 pm
sorry for all the typos my keyboard is sticking in todays heat!!!
June 1st, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Im psyched about the new image…new domain name, new image, its like a fake new years resolution…kind of a fresh start.
June 1st, 2008 at 4:11 pm
This can only be negative if it alters the writing. Otherwise, paisley, Jodi, the person is in the words.
June 1st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
and here i thought that was your picture all along!…as you, i will miss her…i’ve also come to identify you with that picture….but, i think everything that is happening with you right now is timely. you are finally moving on and what better way than to emerge as your new authentic self in paisley form. i, like the others, cannot wait.
June 1st, 2008 at 7:41 pm
Well, another month has gone by and I have been to busy to write. But for good reason, a little over 3 weeks ago Angie and I were honored to take into our family two foster boys. These boys were not strangers to us as we had knew them most of their lives and unfortunately we watched as their family disintegrated two years ago. And then the phone call came from Social Services, they had been in foster care for two years and now needed a new home, most likely permanently. Without hesitation we said of course as we had discussed it many times before and now they are here. Brandon age 14 and Richard age 15. But what leads me to this e-mail is this; Richard had to do a writing project and had to write poems. I already knew he was quite the artist, but after reading his poems I realized he had a talent at it too. So I started a blog for him so that he can showcase his work. I hope to put some of his drawings on next week and also hope that one day he may become comfortable enough with his blog and his talent to post them himself. So if you get a chance, please stop by and checkout his work, it would mean a world to him I believe to notice people reading his poetry. The two poems I Am and Reach are based on the popular video game Halo; if you don’t know the game you may not understand their story. You can find his blog at Vahalla. Thanks and hope all is well.
June 1st, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Paisley! You will always be Paisley.. In the end I think you’re right.. You are moving on and bringing THE real YOU out in the open for all your admirers and FRIENDS to treasure. I am looking so forward to seeing the outer shell of the inner you that I am so touched by. I had always thought that WAS you in that paisley B&W photo. How exciting to await a new face to put all the beautiful words with. This tart sounds like a peach ( umm peach tart! my fav!)
hugs and warmest thoughts for a better June! ♥
June 1st, 2008 at 8:40 pm
First of all let me just say that it was good to here from you and thanks for the heads up about your new link. I thought about your comment and I think it’s because we are in a period where ultra conservatism is popular, a time of politically correctness. These people I find seem to take themselves very seriously and truly believe that they and only they have the right answers. I’m thinking or hoping that after it runs its course that a true enlightened age will be upon us. I don’t mean a liberal view of the world but one where we finally arrive at unconditional love for ourselves and everything within the universe. I’ll not be around to see it but I know that it will be the true rapture.
I thought that I might of offended you with something that I said, if I did I want you to know that I would never purposely do so because I truly love your blog, your poetry and your honesty. I only write what comes to mind and hope that it gives food for thought or opportunity for discussion.
Your Paisley Icon is powerful and truly makes me feel that it is you. I know that it is not the real you. The raw honesty and wit of your writing and poetry fit that image perfectly and no matter what new icon appears on your blog, I will always associate your essence with that image.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:54 am
Hi Paisley! Check out my blog, Insanity Personified at http://janedoesmusings.blogspot.com/ cuz you have won an award!!
Have a great week!
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:23 am
I’m excited for you and can’t wait to see the new Jodi! It really must have bummed you out to have your blog go haywire.
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Jodi, I got the chills when you said that maybe it was time to come out of hiding, and that “the tart” was making you a “Paisley” of your very own. How very fitting and perfect and wonderful. A kind of merging and wholeness. Full circle to embark on a new path of discovery.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Amazing. Really, simply, perfectly amazing. As are you. The whole set of events is…wow. I will miss her, too. But I do have to say that when I saw your avatar on my site today, I madly clicked wondering who you might be and couldn’t get here fast enough. Wow.
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:14 am
Holey Dooley … involvment in my own crap … whisperings of a debut, apologies at not getting the mamothness of it all, till now!
Synchronicity surrounds you Darling, it’s your time, applause, applause … xoxo
June 4th, 2008 at 7:24 am
Now that’s weird. At one time I actually wondered if you and “The Tart” were the same person. I’ve visited her blog now and again, and saw the resemblance in the photos.
I’m glad you have your own paisley presence now.
June 4th, 2008 at 9:33 am
I’m glad things have sorted themselves out Paisley. That’s great about the new image. I loved the one you were using before but the new one is lovely and real. Domain problem, that was very strange. I’ve updated my link to your blog. G
June 6th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
G’day Paisley,
You have a very deft hand with a light touch. I did not know you from a bar of soap before I read this post yet you have entered a virtual personality synopsis in one very short story. This is an enormous gift and one that marks great writers from journalists.
You are a writer.
I had no idea where your story was going and I was utterly surprised that I was hooked into your narrative that began with the appearance of being a bitch session about a bad thing that happened to you. Such venting can be cathartic for the writer but are seldom enlightening for the reader.
Then I noticed the ‘the tart’ highlighted and was confused by the gentle tone so I read on to find a wonderfully gentle story with all the required elements of art.
This is a beautifully crafted vignette with the surface appearance of being an insult that is actually a compliment. Art does not get any better than that.
Robert
June 7th, 2008 at 3:19 am
Often, like the rather worn old expression says, often, out of something bad comes something good. I have watched you write for awhiles now and, recently, felt a coccoon was opening. It was especially noticeable when you took a couple of your own pics and wrote to them. The time, I feel, is right to unveil a new tier of Paisley, bringing something of the old and opening a little of the new.
Smiles and Light
Gemma