she said,, that one day
she hoped i would die,
and my dogs would eat
the flesh, from my bones…
at the time
i was so hurt
so angered
so disillusioned
that i failed to see
that the anger
flowing like lava
from her pen
was the culmination
of a lifetime spent-
living in my shadow…
i had left her behind
trapped in the holes..
holes, i had dug for myself-
and then abandoned..
holes she had spent
a life time desperately
trying to fill in
with family honor
with the sanctity of religion
with a loveless marriage
and a multitude
of dry dead dreams..
i had no way of knowing
that day,, when she purged her soul
of a lifetime
of fermented anger
that she was on the edge
of the abyss herself-
that she was
but one step away
from emerging
from the shadow
of the beast
she had always been so sure
was me…
photo:
http://gilad.deviantart.com/art/Dark-shadow-over-ground-ZERO-49162087
May 29th, 2008 at 6:22 am
that first stanza’s ridiculously good. love the dark tone & strong images. throughout it, i’m wondering who the she is. maybe a mother or a sister, but the possibility that it’s the narrator’s self is great. it’s so true about a lot of people’s relationships with themselves. plus, it brings a surprise twist and left me going back to the beginning again, which is what you want in your writing.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:08 am
I just love the rawness of your work! It grabs you and doesn’t let you go, that is what makes good poetry!
May 29th, 2008 at 8:19 am
I liked this one. Very dark. It’s captivating – or frightening – to face the shadows.
-Nicole
May 29th, 2008 at 9:29 am
“that she was on the edge
of the abyss herself-
that she was
but one step away
from emerging
from the shadow
of the beast
she had always been so sure
was me…
that she was on the edge
of the abyss herself-
that she was
but one step away
from emerging
from the shadow
of the beast
she had always been so sure
was me…”
Why do families do this to each other? Powerful!
May 29th, 2008 at 9:32 am
Brilliant……the ending really whumps it home.
May 29th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Um…is this about your sister?
May 29th, 2008 at 10:48 am
you always leave me speechless with your ability to write….you are such a prolific and good poet. this was excellent.
May 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I am wondering who you are referring to as well Paisley. This is powerful, disturbing and thought-provoking. Great writing, as usual.
PS: Had the strangest thing happen earlier today.Clicked your link from my blog (and tried from another blog too) came up with a commercial ‘paisley’ site instead of yours, with a list of links from. Very strange.
May 29th, 2008 at 7:43 pm
so dark and self-deprecating
May 30th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Very powerful and intense. These lines were stand outs for me
and a multitude
of dry dead dreams
May 30th, 2008 at 10:58 am
..im thinkin sisters… have four of them.. two older two younger.. straight dab in the middle… both sides tormented me… and it’s only b/c im weak and emotional… yeah right… thrz a whole lotta stuff goin on thr and dig it to the end… dynamite stuff p…
May 30th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
This is a marvellous piece, truly marvellous. I’m assuming it refers to your sister. My sister for many years felt like she lived in my shadow. She openly admitted it and I felt often used it as a crutch. It was hard for both of us. I certainly didn’t want to be responsible for someone else’s sense of self being misaligned. You have captured the torment of it so well. Bravo!
May 31st, 2008 at 3:44 am
A tormented spirit is quite a force, far flung from any scrap of logic. You have captured that dark, fermented world beautifully.
Gemma
May 31st, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Ah projection. Don’t you just love it. Especially within a family. Its funny too, because when the person who has projected their issues onto you finally reaches that realization, you can’t help but feel compassion for them.
June 9th, 2008 at 8:47 am
edge of the abyss, just wondering how many times we reach there in our life, sometimes I think its a thing to celebrate and other times I feel its a day to regret..what do you think?
June 10th, 2008 at 7:14 am
Torment. Raw emotion. Reflection. Forget techniques. This is what poetry is about.
June 11th, 2008 at 9:21 am
its dark. and i kinda hope its just a product of your imagination and not really an actual experience. the words are piercing. powerful poem.